Thursday, April 12, 2012

Ask Yelling Girl: Relationship Advice

Dear Yelling Girl

My name is Madam X, and I am a single 30 something who has been having casual hook-ups with a colleague. This started a few months ago. Generally, when he has time I go over to his house around 4 a.m. and we “do things”, mostly, I pleasure him and he enjoys it and then kicks me out of his house in the morning.
Most recently, things have taken a turn for the worse because I have started to express “feelings” for him. However, to his consternation, me expressing feelings has turned out to be the worst thing.
I don’t know what to do because I am trying to prove to myself that I am worthy of his attention but he is just trying to get rid of me. Or, should I say, he HAS because we no longer speak.
I just wanted him to know at the very least that I’m not some side chick that you can just disregard, that I am a persons with feelings and that I am just as special as any of the girls he has spent time with.
Please, help! I don’t like to wear my heart on my sleeve, but right now it’s out there for the whole world to see.
P.S. – He has a huge “package” and an amazing tongue!
Thank you

Madam X

Dear Madam X:
What’s his number? Cause if he is done w/ your ass, let me have a turn, you selfish, bitch!
Just kidding girl…I probably already fucked this loser at some point in time…Cause I’ve…
Been there and done that, and got my parking validated, gurl! Let me start off by saying this: You are beautiful, and you ARE WORTH IT! And no man can give you that validation; it has to come from you.
Now I too have been “dick matized” by a big dick. Big dicks are wonderful, but most of the time a big dick is attached to a big loser (or in less hateful terms, attached to a man who is just not for you).
It has always been my general feeling that when a man wants you he’ll show you. He’ll act right, he’ll chase you, and he’ll make you feel like you are “the only girl in the world”. Now, what you did was give this guy a glimpse into your heart, which he didn’t deserve and with that access he moved right on in and had a house party and didn’t bother to clean up the mess.
Men are ruled by sex, when it comes to women they just want to fuck and not stick with them. Which means your pussy and your tits can provide him with entertainment, but when he is satisfied he’ll turn you off just like the TV during commercial breaks!
I wouldn’t put too much energy into trying to make this man understand how special you are, because chances are that he knows. He just doesn’t want you to know cause your low self-esteem gives him constant access to your pussy on call (trust me, there will be another 4 a.m. call at some point when he is in between bitches). Your only hope is make up your mind (independent of whatever he is or is not doing) to not deal with him anymore.
My grandfather’s favorite saying is “I can show you better than I can tell you”. Make the steps now to create daily affirmation of how wonderful you are, and write a list of what qualities you want your dream man to have. I think you will discover that when you write out this list a loser who doesn’t appreciate you and only has a big dick, and amazing tongue, to offer (although momma is squirming in her seat thinking about it) is not the type of man you really dream about. I bet your dream man has all those things, plus he knows, without prompting, what a bad bitch you are and is thanking God that he has you in his life.
Just be patient, what is for you will come and you have to have faith that you will find that one if you really want him.
In the mean time work on being even more fabulous, and realize that this former “hook-up” will get his in the end if he really truly was trying to do you dirty. Sometimes, guys just want to fuck and not wife a chick, and we have to realize that in this day in time when we play with fire we get burned just put some Vaseline on those wounds and let them heal.
I love you and am praying for you.
Yelling Girl

Yelling Girl is BACK IN BUSINESS!!!

For many of my loyal readers who have followed Yelling Girl throughout the years, the site is up and running and will be just as irreverent and ignorant as EVER!!!

Because, I'm a one man army,I ask that you all have patience w/ me, as I can only produce so much content on my own. Please remember, I am not an editor and I do not claim to be the best when it comes to mastery of punctuation of the English language, but I try to display as much of the education that my family paid for out in the atmosphere (even though I spent much of my school time daydreaming about being as star - who needs to know about commas when you command attention!?!)

I hope you enjoy the entries, and here's praying to God we don't have any more pauses in production.


Yelling Girl AKA Yamaneika
Yelling Girl, Inc.

Edited by Eileen Trott

Monday, April 11, 2011

Bill Cosby vs. Donald Trump

Well, Bill may love the kids but we know now that not only does he not always love the blacks he definitely don't like The Donald!

Bill went in on Donald Trump during his GMA Interview. While, I respect Bill Cosby for the strides he made in comedy, I think he made a misstep w/ his comments on the black community; but his comments on Trump are hilarious!

I lost a lot of respect for Trump when he went in on President Obama, and his constant alliance w/ the Tea Party; I think watching this commentary by Cosby was just the comical release I needed during this whole Trump fiasco.

Jim "Serial Killer" Carrey

I love Jim Carrey, I mean love Jim Carrey. I think i'm the only girl that had a crush on him when he was on 'In Living Color'. However, this look is a total fail. He already looks like a serial killer, but this makes him look even more crazy! Please, let's do something about this what happen when a guy has been single fo awhile?!

Come on, Chris Brown!

I've have been a fan of Chris Brown's for awhile now. I rode w/ his ass through the whole Rihanna thing, because truth be told only bitches in their 20's get upset about a dude slappin' them around, when you get in your 30's you like "well, as long as the boy is making hits he can punch my ass"! Despite my allegiance to Chris he from time to time makes a misstep. No I'm not talking about the GMA fiasco, or when he dyed his hair platinum blond (hello, we see what that did for Sisqo's career). I'm talking about this NSFW video called "Spend It All", his strip club anthem. I thought there would be potential w/ this concept, because for anyone who has heard "No Bulls#!t", you know that the boy can paint a picture with his words that would have any girl dropping her drawers before the chorus, but this song "Spend It All" left me underwhelmed.

Let's not get into how stupid the lyrics are, I'm sure Breezy didn't write them himself. Let's talk about how low, and I mean looooooooooooooow, budget the video is. I mean if you just gonna have girls with big asses pushing them up in the camera, I could have been in the video (we all know how big my ass is!). I was disappointed in this song and the video.

Please, Breezy, go back to the drawing board on this one. Cause when you put disclaimers on a video, people want to see more than a bootleg soft-core porn.

Kelly Rowland, keeps on Rollin'

I was just about to hang up my 'Ms. Kelly' T-Shirt, but Kelly put a halt to that, Child! Ms. Thang is back stronger than before w/ her recently released single "Motivation". If you didn't know about Kelly before, she is letting you know about her now.

Despite her previous attempts, this video is definitely a contender for hottest video by a female recording artist. Kelly has played pee-a-boo w/ us since Destiny's Child disbanded a few years ago, but now she is giving it all she's got, in this hip grinding, legs shaking, booty poppin', sex sweaty video.

I liked the song already, so the video was just an added bonus! Kelly's voice on this track is reminiscent of Anita Baker; a husky, and provocative tone covers this suggestive track.

Despite many comparisons to her former band-mate, Beyonce; Kelly is in a league of her own, and it seems like someone has finally made her realize that. Let's see what else this young star has to offer in her highly anticipated junior release.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Ne-Yo get's drawn!

So "Ms. Thang", I mean Ne-Yo has gotten the green light from the Cartoon Network to start production on his own cartoon titled "I heart Tuesdays". Even though I think he called it "I heart Tuesdays" in honor of Twink night at Splash; he insists its because the main character of the cartoon is a 16 year old girl who has to fight evil forces on Tuesdays.

What I find funny is that the plot is about as creative as the title. "Hey, I know the girl fights crime on Tuesday's so let's put Tuesday in the title." I'm really disappointed in Ne-Yo. I would have given a kidney in a bet, that he would have a cartoon called "Down Low Queens with Greasy Monkey Lips", but I'll have to settle for this apparent mess instead.

Can you say weak plot line?

The Cartoon Network was "unavailable" for comment; what a surprise. They are probably trying to figure out who Ne-Yo gave neck to, to get this thing green lit in the first place. There is an executive somewhere writing a suicide note over this.

Since it's open season on pitching to CN right now, I have a cartoon I've been working on since I was 9 years old. It's about a dyslexic girl who can only speak to white monkeys on a leap year, it's called "I heart white monkey's on leap years".

God, I miss 'The Boondocks' already!