Yelling Girl

Bill Cosby vs. Donald Trump

2011-04-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

Well, Bill may love the kids but we know now that not only does he not always love the blacks he definitely don't like The Donald!

Bill went in on Donald Trump during his GMA Interview. While, I respect Bill Cosby for the strides he made in comedy, I think he made a misstep w/ his comments on the black community; but his comments on Trump are hilarious!

I lost a lot of respect for Trump when he went in on President Obama, and his constant alliance w/ the Tea Party; I think watching this commentary by Cosby was just the comical release I needed during this whole Trump fiasco.

Jim "Serial Killer" Carrey

2011-04-11T10:20:00.000-07:00

I love Jim Carrey, I mean love Jim Carrey. I think i'm the only girl that had a crush on him when he was on 'In Living Color'. However, this look is a total fail. He already looks like a serial killer, but this makes him look even more crazy! Please, let's do something about this...is this what happen when a guy has been single fo awhile?!

Come on, Chris Brown!

2011-04-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

I've have been a fan of Chris Brown's for awhile now. I rode w/ his ass through the whole Rihanna thing, because truth be told only bitches in their 20's get upset about a dude slappin' them around, when you get in your 30's you like "well, as long as the boy is making hits he can punch my ass"! Despite my allegiance to Chris he from time to time makes a misstep. No I'm not talking about the GMA fiasco, or when he dyed his hair platinum blond (hello, we see what that did for Sisqo's career). I'm talking about this NSFW video called "Spend It All", his strip club anthem. I thought there would be potential w/ this concept, because for anyone who has heard "No Bulls#!t", you know that the boy can paint a picture with his words that would have any girl dropping her drawers before the chorus, but this song "Spend It All" left me underwhelmed.

Let's not get into how stupid the lyrics are, I'm sure Breezy didn't write them himself. Let's talk about how low, and I mean looooooooooooooow, budget the video is. I mean if you just gonna have girls with big asses pushing them up in the camera, I could have been in the video (we all know how big my ass is!). I was disappointed in this song and the video.

Please, Breezy, go back to the drawing board on this one. Cause when you put disclaimers on a video, people want to see more than a bootleg soft-core porn.

Kelly Rowland, keeps on Rollin'

2011-04-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

I was just about to hang up my 'Ms. Kelly' T-Shirt, but Kelly put a halt to that, Child! Ms. Thang is back stronger than before w/ her recently released single "Motivation". If you didn't know about Kelly before, she is letting you know about her now.

Despite her previous attempts, this video is definitely a contender for hottest video by a female recording artist. Kelly has played pee-a-boo w/ us since Destiny's Child disbanded a few years ago, but now she is giving it all she's got, in this hip grinding, legs shaking, booty poppin', sex sweaty video.

I liked the song already, so the video was just an added bonus! Kelly's voice on this track is reminiscent of Anita Baker; a husky, and provocative tone covers this suggestive track.

Despite many comparisons to her former band-mate, Beyonce; Kelly is in a league of her own, and it seems like someone has finally made her realize that. Let's see what else this young star has to offer in her highly anticipated junior release.

Ne-Yo get's drawn!

2011-03-11T10:25:00.000-08:00

So "Ms. Thang", I mean Ne-Yo has gotten the green light from the Cartoon Network to start production on his own cartoon titled "I heart Tuesdays". Even though I think he called it "I heart Tuesdays" in honor of Twink night at Splash; he insists its because the main character of the cartoon is a 16 year old girl who has to fight evil forces on Tuesdays.

What I find funny is that the plot is about as creative as the title. "Hey, I know the girl fights crime on Tuesday's so let's put Tuesday in the title." I'm really disappointed in Ne-Yo. I would have given a kidney in a bet, that he would have a cartoon called "Down Low Queens with Greasy Monkey Lips", but I'll have to settle for this apparent mess instead.

Can you say weak plot line?

The Cartoon Network was "unavailable" for comment; what a surprise. They are probably trying to figure out who Ne-Yo gave neck to, to get this thing green lit in the first place. There is an executive somewhere writing a suicide note over this.

Since it's open season on pitching to CN right now, I have a cartoon I've been working on since I was 9 years old. It's about a dyslexic girl who can only speak to white monkeys on a leap year, it's called "I heart white monkey's on leap years".

God, I miss 'The Boondocks' already!

Amber Rose / Kanye West Drama

2011-03-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

Amber Rose is having a hard time keeping her celebrity since sliding off Kanye's nuts last month.

So, what is she doing? Saying she got an STD from the 'Ye? Or that he has a small penis (which, p.s., we kinda know since every pair of pants this nigga wears is so tight up on his scrotum, you can see his balls holding a "Help Me" sign.)? No, it appears that Rose has been saying that West beat her ass.

Here is why it's hard to believe:

1) Kanye wears purple jumpsuits. Kanye has been dresing so sweet lately that if he were to play a game of '1 on 1' against Prince, he would have to call his team "The Blouses".

2) Kanye West is too busy roughing up white girls on award shows to be beating ass.

Here's one thing I do know:

I might let a cat w/ blue suede shoes slide, but a nigga in a purple jumpsuit ain't whipping my ass. You can whip my ass in a jumpsuit but it can't be purple.

Here is what I think happened:

Amber Roses is close friends with Rihanna. They got together and had a 'Red Bones with Big Forehead's' meeting and the following words were uttered: Say, Nigga, Beat, Ass, To, Stay, Relevant, Dollar Signs (and no, I don't mean $ I mean "dollar signs").

Either way, I do not feel sorry for these men who keep getting in trouble over their poor relationship choices.

Team Amber Rose

Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson

2011-03-09T10:04:00.000-08:00

Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson couldn't sound more like a nigga if he had a chicken leg shitting out his ass, while doing the soul train line on a float going down Martin Luther King Blvd during the black history month parade tribute to Harriet Tubman!

So, with that being said, 50 Cent is coming out with a new movie called "Things Fall Apart". As, mentioned by the voice over this is the most critically acclaimed event of his career! Which ain't saying much, since Kanye West beat him out in the rap album war, with what could arguably be Kanye's whackest album to-date!

Here is a "un-official" trailer of the movie, judge for yourself:

Okay, so here are the good points:

1) 50 apparently funded this project himself; which, I have to say, I respect. I can never hate on a someone who takes their own abilities and resources and gets the job done.

2) Positive representation! Okay, so it's another football movie. It seems Hollywood loves when a nigga overcomes something that allows him to be in the starting line-up of some football game; but then again, Hollywood only casts niggas as athletes or singers anyway. At least it's not 'Boyz In Da Hood 4" or "Friday Part XXIII"

3) Good cast. Minus Ray Liotta, the cast seems to be well rounded. Any movie that can get Mario Van Peebles to put some activator on his S-curl, is great in my book! P.S. - I don't like Ray Liotta, because he has been ignoring my love letters for years!

Here is the bad:

A) It's starring Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. The name alone makes me not want to buy a bootleg from the Africans on 42nd & Broadway. Secondly, I can't take a dude seriously who has veneers!

B) Typical! Okay, so I know I'm back tracking, but the same thing that makes me love the idea of this movie is the same that makes me not want to watch it! Every time a nigga comes out w/ a movie, we have to be overcoming some horrible experience. The new formula is add a nigga + or - a mother, welfare, cancer, drugs, gangs, or AIDS and put words to the paper and there is your movie! For just once, I want to see a nigga doing some Jennifer Aniston type shit! Like, forgetting their daily planner in a cab, and falling in love with the fool who returns it!

C) There really is no "C", just wanted to round out the hate! Hate!

Now, movies about sports or athletes are not my thing, so I wasn't gong to see this movie anyway. With that being said, I will go to support a brother who had brains enough to put money to his own project.

I hope that you guys go out and support him, as well. If only to keep this nigga off the streets, cause he got shot 9 times for snitching - imagine what he would get if he came back to his old hood after having such great success. Supporting this movie is part of the "Keep 50 alive" initiative.

Roc Belushi Interviews Yelling Girl AKA Yamaneika

2011-03-08T12:29:00.000-08:00

From time to time I let others do the interviewing and I do the answering! So, here is a great opportunity for some of you my peeps to get a chance to hear what is on the Yelling Girl's mind from time to time.

I hope you enjoy.

Please, be sure to check out my boy Roc Belushi on Facebook, as well as on Blogspot.

Peace

Yelling Girl Rant: Kim Kardashian

2011-03-08T12:12:00.001-08:00

Child, some idiot thought that it was a good idea to let Kim Kardashian get in the studio and record a song!

Raise your hand if you want to hear Kim Kardashian sing?! Put your hand down, Chad Ocho!

I really would like to know who the hell thought this would be a good idea! The girl couldn't even sound good when she was getting her back blown out by Ray Jay, so what makes you think she has the pipes for a singing career?!

I can't wait for this album to come out - it will go Double Dust! Or Triple Woodchips!

Here is the song:

DIDN'T I TELL YOU?! This shit ain't going NOWHERE!!!

She sounds like Christian Bale in Batman! Not even a queen would put his hand on this mess...and queens gave Kim Zolciak not one, but two chances to shit on wax!

Just like in the comedy business, the music business is more interested in presenting something fluff and "imaging". There are plenty of girls who can really sing who could be branded and marketed for success, but again and again people go for whatever is "easy". The only problem is getting Kim Kardashian to have a hit recorded would be harder than trying to raise Elvis from the dead and get him to join and successfully complete weight watchers online.

Kim K., you are a cute girl (I'm sure) and seem to have a sweet deposition, but if you don't sit your ass down with this horrible voice of yours I'm gonna kick you in your silicon injected ass!

I mean, sex tape, make-up and skin care line, fitness video, hair weaves, clothing stores, and promoting botched plastic surgery...what more do you need girl?

That shit sounded like my cat giving a pap smear to a howling hyena with a thyroid problem!

Racist or Realist?

2011-02-25T06:14:00.000-08:00

Tell us how you really feel!

Life Always, an anti-abortion extremist group, is under fire for a recent billboard it posted up in NYC. What is more outrageous than the content of this billboard? Is the money that was wasted on this billboard could have prevented at least ten abortions.

The ad, put up in SoHo read as follows: "The most dangerous place for an African American is the womb". Well, I have to tell you, I had a great time in the womb! I had so much fun that I stayed an extra week (there was shagged carpeting in there and everything, or that could have just been my moms ingrown pubs - but I was having a blast!). The most dangerous place for a child is not the womb, but when someone is reaching up in the womb with a suction hose trying to suck a child out - that's when the climate starts to change;and that is for any womb that has found its way into an abortion clinic, not just a black one.

There are numerous ways that a child can die, "hello, crib death". Actual there are a '1,000 Ways to die' for anyone - according to the popular T.V. of the same name. So, what was this billboard all about? Was it really a cry for help? Was it really a call to action? As the leader (Pastor Stephen Broden)of Life Always stated: "The black community is oblivious to what is going on with this practice.."

Wow, who is more oblivious than this guy? Don't you think that a community that is having abortions at such an alarming rates (according to Life Always), is fully aware of what is going on? I think at some point a black woman would be in the abortion clinic and say "Boy, the ten times I've come up in here I've seen nothing but other African-Americans". (P.S. - Thanks for being politically correct enough to call us African-American, cause something about the way that billboard read tells me you had to edit out using the n-word). I don't think so. I think the word this ignoramus meant to use was apathetic. Which, also i not the case.

This country is a dangerous place for minorities in general. We are the last hired, first fired. In a time of economic depression, we are the ones that are hit the hardest becase we don't control any economic power as a country. However, that is said for females, as well. The only womb that a baby would be safe in i that of a white male, however, despite everything that he has done to make himself a god - the man still can't have babies. Oh, right, he can...Thomas Beatie.

Broden, is trying to put the abortion crisis on the black community so that whites can feel like its a "minority issue" and ignore it out right. "This is a black issue, we don't have to worry about abortion, it's their problem". We did the same with welfare; it's a black issue so who cares, but more white people were on welfare than black so guess who really got the short end of the stick?!

Until we realize that these social issues are OUR problem as a whole, and stop trying to put them off on other groups, we will continue to be stagnant as a country. Who cares who is historically on welfare, or having abortions, or is homeless -work on fixing the problem. Not laying blame.

Additionally, if you really care about getting the message out ot the black community - run the ad where blacks are a predominant culture. Not in SoHo, where the demographic is more white. Duh!

Kanye, Want To Go Half On A Baby?

2011-02-24T22:17:00.000-08:00

Kanye West needs to change his name to Kanye South, because everything he says goes that way!

Kanye made comments on his Twitter page the other day. Here is what he had to say
“an abortion can cost a ballin’ n— up to 50gs maybe a 100. Gold diggin’ b—s be getting pregnant on purpose. #STRAPUP my n—s!”

Lily Allen, was OUTRAGED!

Allen posted on Twitter: “@kanyewest never has a tweet put me in such a bad mood. This is wrong on so many levels.”

I personally am not offended by what Kanye West said. He is right. A typical abortion can cost between $400 - $500 bucks. So why in the hell are celebrities paying that much for their jump off's 50 to 100K to have one? Is their vagina that complicated to maneuver that they have to have to ship in miners from Chile to dig down in her birth canal and scrap the baby out? No, the overage is "hush" money.

As much as we would like to think this is a wonderful world and everyone is on the up and up, there is a population of women who go out of their way to trap a male celerity. The easiest way to get your hands on a flow of money is by having a baby, cause then the courts make him pay! Or, an easier deal is to get him to pay you to have an abortion. Make 10 rich dudes think you got knocked up, at 50K a pop and I'M RICH BITCH! There are dudes who would rather not have people (mainly their main chick) know about an affair with a groupie that resulted in a seed being planted. It's easier to pay for a 50K abortion than alimony and 18 years of child support. So, they cut their losses of dealing with said groupie and this child that will have its hand out, and just pay to make the whole situation go away!

These women are ruthless and cunning, they give women a bad name. However, the guys who casually hook up with these birds are at fault too! A ball player or entertainer who sleeps with a groupie and gets her pregnant is a fool and deserves whatever he gets. That's a given.

Here's the thing: Who the hell is Lily Allen to open her cold sore infected mouth about what is appropriate and inappropriate. One, because she is notorious for doing inappropriate things, and constantly getting razed all over the internet. Secondly, she herself has a song called 'Knock 'Em Out' where she sings about trying to get rid of this guy at a club but giving excuses as to why she can't dance w/ him, using the line "I've got AIDS" - now some might find that offensive. I guess it's easier to judge then to be judged.

Kanye West was speaking a truth, and a truth according to him, so what you don't like it! Don't get on his Twitter page if you don't like the things that he says. Any fool who is bold enough to snatch a microphone out of the tiny hands of a white girl on national TV, while she is accepting her award, and say the award should have gone to a black girl - is going to say some outlandish shit on his Twitter page - you can believe that!

The message I got from Kanye's Twitter post is that a celebrity dude should wear condoms instead of banging a groupie raw!

It takes 40 Yrs for man to recover stolen wallet and 40 years for him to recall the story!

2011-02-22T11:44:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful story: A man has his wallet lifted 40 years ago, and a nosy security guard finds it and returns it! This was almost a wonderful story, until I had to sit through this man giving a 1 min. story a 8 min over haul!

I've had pap smears that have taken less time than it took this guy to get to the point!

I Wonder: Grandparents

2011-02-14T23:06:00.000-08:00

From time to time I will create entries that will be under the influence of "nature". These thoughts will be things that I find fascinating during these "natural" times;or, they can be things that i'm other wise scared to say.

I Wonder

Installment #1

I Wonder...

Will my grandparents ever get off my back about having a baby? Apparently, the same people who told me to keep my legs closed. Who commented that everyone would think I was a whore because I had a boyfriend. Have now decided that because I'm getting older its officially okay for me to fuck anything with a sperm count of 1+; because now that they are getting closer to the banana peel under the heel, they need to see some type of life twirl down my uterus before they can make it in to "Glory"!

I certainly hope that they don't think that I will be keeping the baby, should I pop one out and it takes them more than a few years to expire.

I Wonder...

When exactly these same grandparents, who had so much hope and promise in me being a star that they told me to allows follow my dreams; got together and had a meeting and decided that after year and years of chasing said dream, they were going to no longer be supportive and take every opportunity they could to snatch what little bit of hope I was holding on to for success, by making feel like the last rag in the laundry bag? I constantly hear: "Well, baby if it was for you God would have given it to you by now." , "Some times the devil dresses up things and makes us think its for us and its not.", or my favorite,"No, baby, we ain't gonna pray for your success anymore we are currently asking God to bind that demon of optimism that you have in being a famous comic". When I ask my grandmother if she thinks I will make it, her reply is: "I don't know, but you gonna have to hurry up if you are cause I don't have much time left".

Now, not only do I have to have a baby before their death, I also have to be star! My grandparents are in their mid-70's, somebody find Barry Katz quick!

by Yamaneika "Yelling Girl"

Rihanna finally "BITES" off more, so gets chewed!

2011-02-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

David LaChapelle is suing Rihanna for similarities between the singers 'S&M' video and photos from his collection.

According to Yahoo! News, the photographer is seeing red over his photos being "the inspiration" for 'S&M'. The video which stars a scantily clad Rihanna has already seen a lot of controversy because of it sexually aggressive lyrics and visuals - being banned in several countries.

No telling how this will play out in the court, but you can take a look for yourself.

What this really boils down to is, "Fuck you? Pay me!" from LaChapelle' end.

There is so much biting going on in the industry, its hard to tell who is who anymore. In an industry that mostly doesn't applaud originality and sticks to the same tried and true marketing schemes, can anyone really get upset anymore at this type of stuff? I mean, we keep buying it and they keep giving it to us. It is after all just 'S&M'

by
Yamaneika "Yelling Girl"
Can you hear me?!

King of Eygpt?

2011-02-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

It's official, Hosni Mubarak has resigned as President of Egypt. Now, if you have been under a rock for weeks, this may come as a shock to you, but to the rest of the world this is NOT news.

Today's entry is not necessarily about Egypt, I don't want to get to political on this post because I'm not that accurate when its comes to politics and I've very irreverent, however, there are somethings I would like to address when it comes to this matter overall.

Many times in the United States, we sit by and see injustice or discrimination and we complain about it (I'm speaking specifically to minorities, because 2520's have no problem when it comes to complaining); there is no real action or if there is action its very short lived. Now, without trying to cause an all out race riot or revolt in this country; I would like to say that if the United States were more proactive when its comes to things that we don't agree on and take a stand, this country would be in a better place.

It's easy to get bogged down by problems and think that you are smaller than a situation, its only when you step outside of yourself and realize that you can make a difference and that your courage might encourage others; will things really happen.

Egypt was sick and tired of that motherfucker holding that seat, year after year, and when they saw that his son was about to continue on the legacy they collectively did a black woman's "Oh, hell no!", put some Vaseline on their knuckles and got to stepping out in protest like they had a hot perm on their heads that needed to be rinsed off! (Now, I realize that I just used a long series of "sistah girl" analogies - and I apologize for my white male readers who may be lost in the sauce. Let's just say I was trying to show you how "sassy" Egypt just got on Hosni Mubarak ass).
No matter what your stance is on this uprising in Egypt, you have respect the gangsta of their citizens to say "Get the fuck outta here, or we are gonna stomp you out like a campfire". They were willing to put their lives, reputation, and future on the line for what they believed in.

I encourage you all to find something in your lives that needs to be changed and then tell that person/thing/or situation to "Get the fuck outta here, or I am gonna stomp you out like a campfire."

Back to Yelling...

2011-02-11T12:04:00.000-08:00

It's Official!

Yellinggirl.com has been re-launched! We are coming back harder, louder, more ignorant and outrageous than every. Let this be your source for hard, honest, and bold truth! We don't give a damn what everyone else thinks, we KNOW the truth! Unabashed and Unashamed.

Yell with YELLINGGIRL!

Foolishness: Michael Jackson's "This Is It Tour"

2009-03-05T16:07:00.000-08:00

Michael Jackson just announced his final tour; the tour will be called "This is It" tour.

He ain't kidding "This is It", the sad part is that this has been it for a long time now!

What makes this announcment even more desperate and sad, is that Mike will only be making his final curtain call in London! He has given the big middle finger to the United States.

“I love you so much. Thank you all. This is it. This is it. I just want to say that these will be my final performances in London. This will be it. When I say ‘This Is It’ I really mean this is it. I will be performing the songs my fans want to hear. This is the final… the final curtain call, okay - and I will see you in July. I love you - I really do, you have to know that. I love you so much - really. From the bottom of my heart.”

So, no concert in America?! That's f'd up, but after all that he has been though here in the states, I can kinda feel him on this.

Then again, he did say these would be his final performances in London, so maybe he is giving London the big middle finger and going to continue to perform everywhere else.

Either way, I had the biggest crush on Micheal from 88-89; so for that I will say, "I will truly miss you, Mike. I was hoping you'd get to molest my kids one day."

Foolishness: African Edition

2009-01-26T15:39:00.000-08:00

In Nigeria a goat is currently under arrest for car jacking. According to a few foolish niggas, um I mean Nigerians, a man who was in the process of stealing a car with a few of his friends turned into a goat when he realized he had been discovered by some of the locals.

The man, turned goat, is currently under arrest for attempting to steal a Mazda 323. Now, I don't know what I more surprised about, the arresting of the goat or that there are Mazda 323's in Nigeria.

My Adidas?

2009-01-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

The Kanye Shoe

A pair of Adidas

Okay, in recent foolishness, Kanye West (millionaire rapper and my future baby-daddy) decided to take his foolishness on the road and become an intern for Louis Vitton. Why? I do not know. During his "tenure" he created a shoe. [see picture of Kanye w/ red shoe] Is it me or do these shoes he "created" look like Adidas. I'm just saying, 'ye, I don't want to see you do it to yourself baby.

I love Kanye, but seriously this nigga is really trying me. Please, Kanye either keep making records or become my husband cause I got to have you stop with this other shit you are doing. It's just not a good look for our empire!

Come on home, I got you boo!

SMH!

Kanye's shoe

Here We Go...

2009-01-25T13:18:00.000-08:00

Does Bill O'Reilly ever get tired of himself? Seriously, does he ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say "Damn, I got to be this motherfucker again?!".

Bill is back up to his old foolishness and Smoke & Mirrors act. Here we go:

And why all this hoopla? Cause some "niggas" said their president was black. OOOOOO!

First, Dennis Miller, I have to give credit to for calling Young Jeezy; Emphysema! But when in the hell did Miller become a political version of Dice Clay? I was waiting for a "Ba Boom" and a rim shot after each of his comments.

Of course black people (and yes, niggas) are happy their president is black. We are all vocalizing that our president is black. I've heard white people say "my president is black", so why is it a problem when a bunch of rappers get together and say this? What I like is that two rappers are the focal point of the clip, but somehow they are a representation of the ENTIRE black community. This "hurts" Obama cause these two rappers said they have a black president. "They are spreading hate". Why are we still generalizing a whole group of people on a few? O'Reilly has the nerve to pull at heart strings by playing the victim, "if I say these things I'm a racist". Yes, you are! Because of why and how you say the things you say. His sincerity was about as genuine as positive result on 2nd graders pregnancy test.

For once (and I mean FOR ONCE) I have no problem with what Jeezy and Jay said! I was right with Jeezy when he said "Thank you to the motherfucker who helped pack their shit up and getting them out of the white house"! THANK YOU!!! I think after 43 white presidents, getting a black one is cause for a little celebration and a few whistles being blown. There was no "kill whitey" and "down with the man", just "MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!!!". But Bill loves to rile up the conservative white folks into a racial frenzy, "we are loosing the country, look I told you these niggas would act this way". *whip* *whip*

But...

After about a min. into the clip you realize that this segment has nothing to do with Young Jeezy or Jay-Z, they were only a way to lead into criticizing (however back handily) Obama. I for one am ashamed of Miller, looking like a $2 hoe that someone pulled out of a trash can. Miller looked so bad, I can imagine a fight right before they said "action" with him and the camera man wrestling over a brown bag with a very strong vodka. The camera man trying desperately to get the bag out of Millers hands.

And what the fuck was Bill O'Reilly doing at a Jay-Z Concert? Oh, right he wasn't there - he is making his assessment off a YouTube clip like every other 15 years old white boy in America. Got hair on your nuts yet, Bill? Then put down the tissue, no pick up the tissue and wipe the tip of your dick, then put it down and go back to work. Oh and Bill, can you please just for once in your sorry, sad, poorly styled haired life present some real news instead of sensationalized propaganda.

No, Girl!

2009-01-25T13:03:00.001-08:00

I love me some tall me, with my short ass; but this is too much!

Taraji Henson and Lamar Odom look a hot mess together, he is too damn tall for her! And look at that suit on him, I know he's gonna look sloppy in a casket!

Don't get me wrong Taraji is beautiful, but girl throw that one bag for a smaller fish. Trust me, just cause they tall...well, you know.

He Said/She Said

2009-01-25T12:21:00.000-08:00

Some people say black people complain too much. Some black people say that blacks are not treated equally and dismissed. Who is right? Well, as a black person I come from a black perspective. Do I think this country it equal? No. Do I think it's gotten better? Yes. Will America stay the course of social progression? I do not know.

What I do know, whether white or black (or in between, because America is not just white and black, and it has never been; ask the Native Americans), somethings should just be chalked up to the individual and not blamed on race.

Example:

During the Pac 10 game between Houston and Arizona (don't knock me for specifics I haven't been into basketball since the Hornets got rid of Larry Johnson), Aubrey Coleman (Houston team) steps on the face of Chase Budinger (Arizona team).

Here is a clip:

Okay, now let the race card game begin. I originally saw this story posted on Yahoo, and saw the comments were becoming very racially charged (I did not look at the comments on YouTube, the comments on that site are always about race and in a negative way). I took a look at the clip, and I made my own assessment of the situation. I'm not gonna say whether I felt that Coleman was right or wrong, because that will eclipse the story and I do not want focus on my opinion of the event itself. The issue that I am trying to make is what breeds racism and continues stereotyping is when you take a person and based their actions on their race. There are a number of reasons this incident could have happen:

There might have been a pre-game argument (or an argument at a party) between these two men that we did not see which resulted in this moment.
Possibly, Coleman did not see him there.
Okay, Coleman saw him there and stomped on his face for various reasons.
This school might have that much of a rivalry going on that it gets physical.

However, none of the reasons for this incident (had Coleman deliberately stepped on Budinger's face had anything to do with a black man lying with a black woman and having a black child. It has nothing to do with Coleman being black. Black people are not predisposed to violence and aggression, despite what the Media will tell you or perpetuate.

Chalk this up to Coleman being an obvious idiot (if he did this deliberate with out provocation). I'll even chalk it up to him being a young stupid, boy. But, at the end of the day if you really believe that people do what they do based on color, then you need to live around your own people. I suggest you get a ticket to whenever your ancestors are from and go home, cause no one belongs here but the Native Americans. Oh, before you go you might want to go to Lafayette "French" Bakery and pick up some of their "celebrity" Drunken Negro Cookies [read next post].

Dummy of the Month

2009-01-25T11:53:00.000-08:00

I'm usually not one to get into foolishness like this, because it happens so much I don't like to call attention to idiots; however, I am a New Yorker and I take pride in keeping our streets clean so watch this:

First, congratulations to the women who came forth to complain about this guy. Considering that these cookies were not directed at them racially, they could have easily turned the other way and purchased their macadamia cookies.

I can't believe that he calls those cookies Drunken Negro Cookies, for a number of reasons:

Those cookies look nothing like drunken Negroes, actually, they look like him. Don't they look just like him, as dirty as he looked w/ that damn crazy ass looking hair and 9:30 shadow.
What is this negro bullshit? What happened to the good old days when racists went all out.
You own the shop, but you work the cash register, cook the pastries, and deliver the product. Do you think you have time to be putting others down after life clearly has given you a bad hand?

Lafayette French Pastry? Ain't shit French about that place but the owners armpits and them rats that come out when the lights are off.

They note this bakery as a "celebrity bakery" because it baked cakes for Sex & The City and Jungle Fever, that doesn't make this baker celebrity bakery. I handed Bea Aurthur a cup of seltzer, I guess that makes me a "celebrity" bar.

I like how the cookies are derogatory to blacks, but he says he has a Cuban cousin so it's okay. These cookies were called Drunken Negro cookies not Cocaine Cuban Caramels.

The issue for me is not about if this guy is an idiot, racist, or complete retard; the issue is that if you don't like the cookies do not patronized the shop. So, I have put the information up on this site so you know that if you are ever in New York City boycott Lafayette French Pastry. He says he likes everyone as long as they buy, we'll then I say lets have all races boycott him and see how many offensive cookies he can come up.

He says he has the right to name the cookies whatever he wants, and he is right. I also have the right to call him a dirty, idiot who obviously isn't making much money at what he does since he is "owner", backer, cashier, and delivery boy.

Dose this look like the face of a 21 year old?

2009-01-22T07:19:00.000-08:00

Of course not! Akon is up to more foolishness, this time he's not inappropriately groping young girls on stage. Apparently, Mr. Kon (I don't know the niggas last name, nor do I care) doesn't know what his real age is. #1 sign that you are in your 30's, faking amnesia when asked the "how old are you" question.

The reason he gives for not knowing his age? Despite having a BIRTH CERTIFICATE AT HIS DISPOSAL TO CHECK!!! Is that in Africa age is not important. Right! Nigga, how old are you? Cause now I'm really concerned.

I guesstimate that he is about 38 or so. One because in that one picture, he has that Keith Sweat/Jonny Gil "I'm so fly" S-Curl; only an old nigga would rock that. Also, the nigga stay ashy, and as you age some of the sheen and luster goes w/ you.

I just think its sad that he has to lie about his age, is the business that rough that niggas is lying about their age?!

Wow. There is no hope for us women.

Is Obama Black?

2009-01-22T06:48:00.000-08:00

Let me take some time to be serious now, because this is a serious issue and I don't want to make light of this situation. Here are the reasons why some consider Obama not to be our "first black president":

1) He's Married to Black Woman
2) He's President
3) He takes care of his kids

Okay, I promise no more jokes. I promise. Hehehe!

This issue is very simple, yet very complex. Obama is non-threatening, which made him the perfect "black" man to run for the job of president. Is America over it's racial hump because Obama is president, of course not. Are things gonna get better, we hope.

However, race does still play a big part in our country. Now, take some big black (and I mean Wesley Snipes and Seal had a baby) burly nigga, with soup bowl lips, gigantic hands, but with the same qualifications and background as Obama; would he be president, HELL NO! No way you gonna see no dark chocolate in the white house, you better enjoy Michelle Obama while she's there cause that's the blackest the white house is gonna get.

I remember being on stage during the campaign process and saying to crowds "why do we act like Obama is not white also?", to which I got blank stares and sometimes comments like: "he's black", "he isn't white", or "he looks black, so he's black". Not one person wanted to take responsibility for Obamas whiteness. Now, he stands today our president all the stories have changed and now everyone is taking their claim in this man. The whites want a piece, niggas we know we got our piece, and who else? I'm just waiting for a Tiger Woods moment to happen in 3, 2, 1...

Bottom line, I understand where some blacks are coming from when they say he ain't our first black president, because America ain't gonna put no real nigga in office. I understand where other black say he is our first black president, because America created this 1/16 rule and it still applies (don't try to take it back now). I understand where some whites are coming from, because his mother was white and he shouldn't have to deny his heritage.

I just say, lets all calm down, enjoy the fact that Bush is out of office.

All jokes aside, even though from time to time I will say our "blackish" president - I absolutely respect Obama, and feel totally safe in his hands. But, that nigga ain't above being cracked on like the rest of ya'll.

Who knew Indians were just like niggas?!

2009-01-22T06:37:00.000-08:00

Here we go w/ this crabs in a barrel shit. One person from a disenfranchised community does something good to bring their people some shine, now everyone jumps on the bandwagon to talk against that person because they want to be "controversial" and bring a little heat their way. Does this sound like some niggas you know?

So, apparently there is some beef between the people of a Mumbai slum and the 'Slumbdog' movie. First, this story was posted on Yahoo and the report I read stated that "several dozen" of these people came out. Several dozen? I've had more people come to see me take a shit.

It was very pitiful, because they are holding up signs that say they are the Future of India. No, baby, no you not! You are the future of Dell's Tech Support. India has a very rich future already, and the fact that with all the wealth in India, there somehow still is a slum area - something tells me somebody's daddy pissed someone else's daddy off.

Look at the kids in the picture. They look clean, look like they just ate, they look healthy. There is a dog in the picture, who also looks clean, looks like he just ate, he looks healthy. Come on, I've seen 15 little Mexican girls wearing the same dress at the same time, now that's struggling. As bad as this economy is right now, I might be moving to Mumbai to see if I can get a job working for Verizon or Dell.

My heart goes out to this kids, all jokes aside, but they ain't living in no real ghetto. Try living in Compton or the Bronx for a week, then cry.

Always trying to trip a nigga up...

2009-01-22T06:27:00.000-08:00

Here is the latest foolishness surrounding our first blackish president, apparently he had to be sworn in a second time; because the fool in the robe (Chief Justice John Roberts) jacked up the original oath. Can you imagine what would've happened if they didn't re-do this oath? 4 years from now people would've been chanting he wasn't our president because he didn't say "faithfully" before president and he said "elected" after president.

I can not believe this is even an issue. He could've put his hands on a bucket of fried chicken, and chanted the song from the 'Golden Girls', he was still my president at 12 p.m.

This is just the beginning of the scrutiny. SMH

Who are these people?!

2009-01-22T06:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I know who they are but who cares?! I don't really care for Joe Biden, he's made some stupid remarks over this campaign and I'm sure over the course of his grey-head life. Him and his wife, who I've lovingly named Saddle Bag Arms look as phony as a $2 bill; but America needed to see some white meat in order to elect a black president - so, I have to say 'Thanks' for validating the ticket Biden.

But who is this guy?! What do we know about him? We spent so much time trying to get Obama in office that we didn't take the time to look at his running mate. I personally think Hilary Clinton would've been a better option, but lets face it not only would Hilary have tried to kill Obama not one Republican in their right mind would vote for Hilary. That's one Snatch you couldn't give away on Ebay.

Back to Saddle Bag Arms and her husband. I don't like this man, I've got my eyes on him and that's all I'm saying.

I don't trust me with comb-overs, so you know I really don't trust a man w/ a comb-back. Who is he trying to fool, fluffing up them two or three strains of hair in the middle?

Anyway, because they were very overlooked during the whole process - let me give them a little bit of shine, not much, but enough for what they bring to the table, which ain't much, but it's something, but not a lot, but enough to give them this shout-out, but that's it so don't get used to it, but i'm gonna do it so before I talk myself out of it....Here you go

Wearing the man out already!!!!

2009-01-22T06:03:00.000-08:00

Child, they are wearing this man out already. Not even 48 hours in office and my man looks like he's aged 50 years.

America is gonna worry this man to death, which is my biggest gripe. Even if this man comes in office and takes a shit on the entire country, bangs Michelle everyday, and goes on welfare he could never be as bad as the idiot we had in office for 8 years!

America sat back and let this idiot screw over the country for 8 FUCKING YEARS! And now all of a sudden we expect someone to come in here and clean up his mess. Fuck that! And yes I said it, FUCK THAT!

Why is someone else always responsible for cleaning up the mess that these Bush's make?! First, Clinton had to clean up after daddy Bush, now Obama w/ baby Bush. I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and watch "Brother to, but smarter than the idiot Bush we just had in office" Jeb become president. I can't take anymore of the Bush family, and their highly unattractive wives!

Who can forget Great-Grandma Bush (AKA Gargoyle), Barbara, who we found out was not only ugly on the outside but uglier on the inside; during that whole Katrina fiasco.

I've lived through 12 years of Bush's and some of Ronald, I'm done with these people. Every time we let these Republicans in office, the economy suffers, the rich get richer, the poor starve, and I have a hard time supporting my 2 wigs a week-habit.

Enough!

You'll see more of this!!!!

2009-01-22T05:56:00.001-08:00

Now that we have a black man in office (well, blackish) and he is married to a black woman (well, sistah) now black women have become the new commodity, move over Becky its Bonquisha's turn to shine!

Look at Di Niro, this nigga gonna finally get a chance flaunt is 3rd black wife around (or is this his 4th) this man has had more black tail then Abraham Lincoln.

My hats off to Di Niro.

Now that there seems to be more acceptance of black women, maybe Whoopie Goldberg can finally get a movie where her white love interest actually gets to kiss her before the movie shoots to closing credits. You ever notice that? Every movie she's ever been in she's had some white dude that was her love interest, but zero love scenes. SMH

So, with this being said, black women go claim your white man at gate 7.

The Truth

2009-01-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

Now you all know me by now, I'm a Gospel and R&B girl, however I think I found the truth in rap. I have to thank Roc Belushi for hipping me to this dude.

Introdcuing Charles Hamilton.

Now, I have to give this guy props one because he is a Scorpio (like me!) and second because (despite being crazier than a box of Crazy Loops) he might just be the truth to this new generation of hip-hop.

I will be buying his album when he comes out on Interscope!

What makes his story even more dramatic is that he comes from a very tragic past (homeless, drugs, and hurt - what we artist go through just to make it).

Mark my words this guy is the next big thing. A young black man, with talent, fame, money and a brilliant mind - which means he'll be married to a white woman next month.

I'm gonna post two clips from him, but there is a bunch of stuff on YouTube for him - GO CHECK HIM OUT!

Foolishness Continued...

2009-01-05T12:49:00.001-08:00

Okay, here is a clip of pure foolishness! Comes as courtesy of the late James Brown. Got to give it up to the man, he was a legend. He made a lot of great hits. He wrote and sang 'I'm black and I'm proud' and then turned around and married every white woman in a 15 mile radius.

In this interview, Mr. Brown is being questioned on his altercation with his wife that caused him to be arrested.

Watch:

Highlights of this clip:

1) Why does JB look like the fly in this interview?
2) Why is he wearing a windshield on his face?
3) What is up with the gloves?
4) He opens up the interview not with "hello" but singing "this is a man's world"
5) Classic moment: interviewer asks him a why the women love him, one of his responses "because I make love good" she then follows that statement up with "I hear you are coming out with a gospel magazine". LOL!!!
6) At one point I think he is speaking in Chinese!

And because I promised my friend and JB's biggest fan that I would, here is a clip of JB at his best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exMWFeJQBZY&eurl=file:///C:/Program%20Files/Yahoo!/Messenger/kywrnHmGfy6TRKyXrWED7w--&feature=player_embedded

B. Scott : Done Debbies

2009-01-05T12:27:00.000-08:00

Now, I'm a leader and not a follower - just like B. Scott. So, I'm not all about promoting some bullshit just because everyone is into it. However, I truly love B. Scott and here is just one example of what I like about B.

In this clip, B. Scott is talking about 'Done Debbies'

If there is one thing I need in my life is a gay man who can wear a scarf like none others!

You can check out more B. Scott at http://www.LoveBScott.com

Pimping Yo' Baby!

2009-01-05T11:16:00.000-08:00

Looking to make extra cash? Got a baby? Okay, well pimp them out. Want to know how?!

Just sign them up to be a baby model. In every major metropolis, on any given day this process takes place. There are parents who spend time and energy trying to get their child into modeling. Now, if you thought the career span of a dancer was limited, you have to see the career span of a baby model. They can only work newborn up to 3 1/2 years in the baby modeling world, before they become has beens.

So, just in case your baby looks like Flava Flav they have criteria for the little crumb snatcher. Here is what Joe Freeman of Dynasty Models is looking for: "It's almost like if you see something you know it," says Freeman. "For a baby, pretty much you're looking for that cuteness. I hate using the term, but that all-American look. That baby with a wholesome look."

I can not believe he just said "baby with a wholesome look"!!! Isn't that all babies?! Are there slutty babies out there?! Babies that look like they've been around the block? Kim Kardashina babies?! Or Courtney Love babies?! Babies selling crack on 145th and Lennox? Babies strapping time bombs to their back and hoping on America bound flights? Babies smoking Newports and selling their bodies for $10 and a crack rock? Babies back-up dancing in Beyonce videos. Babies telling McCain to kiss their ass? Babies having babies? Babies going to nightclubs looking for their future baby daddies? Babies stealing from convenient stores. Has anyone seen a shifty looking baby?

This statement baffles me, but amuses me at the same time.

If you are interested in baby modeling or want to read more of the article written by Vanessa E. Jones with Boston.com here is the link: http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/articles/2009/01/03/next_years_model?s_campaign=8315

Chris Angel's new Trick

2009-01-05T10:43:00.000-08:00

Chris Angel is now "officially" dating Holly Madison of the Girls Next Door Fame.

So, if you are wondering what his new trick is - it's Holly Madison. She is best known for letting Hugh Hefner (aka Dust Balls) take a dip in her swamp thang! Now, not that Chris Angel looks any cleaner (cause he's known for his flock of groupies) I am certain that taking Hugh Hefners leftovers is a little beneath him.

But whatever, I loved the GND; my favorite being Bridgette ( I have no clue, she just seemed the realest). Despite, my lack luster affinity for Holly I really was rooting for her to get that ring from Hef - cause God knows she put in enough man hours on her knees to get it.

Another GND cast member, Kendra is slated to get married on Hef property to some football player (I think). I'm not even interested enough to Google the information to correct myself. Kendra I never really thought was in it for Hef, she could do with or without him.

Unfortunately, GND is over. :-( This makes me sad because between GND and Keeping up with the Kardashians, I was in over hyped hoe heaven?

I wish all the girls good lucky w/ their relationships, apparently you can turn a hoe into a housewife!

Where the F*^%K to they find these men?!

2009-01-05T09:30:00.000-08:00

Essence has come out with its annual 'Will You Marry Me' bullshit. This is where .0023 % of those 30% of black women who will find a man, gets a marriage proposal of a life time.

As much as I want to hate on these women, hey they found their man, so congratulations! I just want to know where they found these guys?! The stories this year are very dramatic and makes me wonder why I can't keep a man for more than .24 seconds! One man decided to commit his life to his future wife, who was diagnosed with Multiple-Sclerosis! Can you imagine a man loving you that much?! I can't even get a man who can deal with my incessant snoring and morning breath, let a long a debilitating disease! I had a nigga leave me because I burnt a piece of toast. "You burnt the toast, bitch I'm outta here".

Another lady finds her man in the grocery store, getting ORANGE JUICE!!! I am always getting Orange Juice!!! Ridiculous

If you are interested in seeing these proposals and hearing their stories go to www.essence.com That's where you will find all the bullshit.

I'm still shaking my head, something about seeing a man get down on his knees and ask a woman for her hand in marriage is very disconcerting to me. Quite, possibly I am so jaded by marriage and relationships, I can't even take the time not to smirk in amusement as these men share their undying love for these beautiful sistahs.

Even if I never have a proposal of my own (despite my mothers constant praying) I hope that I continue to see man stepping up to the plate and making the woman in their life, their partners for life!!!

Introducing, Foolishness...

2009-01-01T14:29:00.000-08:00

We are starting the New Year off with more foolishness. I posted earlier this week, this young Korean man (but don't tell him that) singing some Mariah Carey song! Child, he started this day off with more of his foolishness.

He can't even remotely sing, and although I gave him props last post, I'm inclined to take it back. What is up with that spiderweb, see-through vest?! Someone call Prince, he's about to be swagger jacked.

So, without further ado, here is FOOLISHNESS...

Yelling Girl Side Note: His name is not foolishness, that's what I've dubbed him.

R.I.P Helen Suzman

2009-01-01T07:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes this world can be very negative, and one of the issues that perpetuate negativity and hate is the issue of race and color. Helen Suzman was an advocate against Apartheid, at a time when it wasn't acceptable for a non-black to be. She continued her fight against what she knew was wrong, when it wasn't popular.

She passed away at the age of 91.

My condolences to her family, and I hope they keep her legacy alive.

A lesson for Madoff?

2009-01-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

Its too early in the morning for this bullshit! Associated Press is reporting that some thieves stole a statue of Bernie Madoff's, worth over $10,000.

This apparently happened on Dec. 22. The statue has since turned up at a country club of Madoff's with a letter attached reading "Bernie the Swindler, Lesson: Return stolen property to rightful owners. Signed by — The Educators."

Really?

What point is this proving?! Do you think this guy gives a shit about whatever after school lesson you are trying to teach?! Really, the man has swindled over 50 billion dollars from his investors!

Not that I am advocating violence by any stretch of the imagination, but something tells me the only thing this man might understand is a foot in the ass! Which he wont get cause he's going to a federal prison.

Watch Out For the Big Girls!!!!

2009-01-01T06:27:00.000-08:00

I'm a big girl, yes, I'm a big girl! And what?! I don't want anyone saying anything to me about being a big girl, cause I look good! Okay, now I will take into consideration that I have a nice shape for a big girl, not that box back and all that some girls are cursed with; but still I'm big none the less. I love my big girls and will fight hard for them, but sometimes there is one in the bunch that makes me roll my eyes and say "sit your fat ass down"! This is one of those times.

Posted here you will find a clip of this girl named Scarlet, now I don't know if that is really her name cause it doesn't sound big. You know how big girls somehow have big names, almost like they are destined to be big? Well, Scarlet decides that she is gonna sing for us and in the middle of the damn song ( a song that I've never heard and one that I think is very impromptu cause at times even she looks confused at the words coming out of her mouth) and change her shoes.

Then she hops her big ass on this coffee table and....Just watch: (skip to about 2:15 in, cause it gets a bit long up front).

Did you see this?! Now granted the tape is called Scarlet takes a tumble, and I really thought I wasn't going to be surprised when she took the tumble, cause I was being prepped for it. But honey, when that fool fell! I'll tell you, I _______________________________ flat lined!

Here are the times I expected her to fall
1. When she put on her shoes, cause she was huffing and puffing and bent over awkwardly trying to put them on.
2. When she first got up on that coffee table, cause I heard the table say "Are you kidding?". That table creaked for dear life!
3. When she started that little booty grind, or whatever that was?

I was surprised that after the song was done and she had done all the things possible to bust her ass, she falls on the dismount!!!!

And the judges give her a 8.6!

Child, I have no words.

You have to watch the clip at least 5 times, cause the first 4 times you are laughing so hard you miss all the comedy gold at the end when she is on the floor in pain for about 3 mins.

This is my girl, fearless and shameless (cause she posted this shit!).

Big up, big girl!

P. Diddy = Shitty Time for Coach

2009-01-01T06:02:00.000-08:00

Diddy said that the party don't stop. Well, apparently, it does for Cincinnati football coach Brian Kelly. When Kelly got wind that Diddy and his entourage were going to throw a party at a Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami, he elected to take his team to another hotel. Kelly, has got to be the only man in the world that ain't trying to sip Gin 'n Juice with Diddy. Seriously?! I mean, I know a few nuns that wouldn't mind getting invited to a Diddy party.

Apparently, Kelly (who is a professed man of the world), knows what its like to party with the likes of Beelzebub himself; he decided that this would lead to nothing less than catastrophe for the guys on his team.

I have mixed feelings about this. One the one hand you got the "Diddy factor", major star who will drop no expense making his party HOT TO DEF; who wouldn't want to be a part of this bash? Then you have the coach, he has a team to lead and is responsible for some guys who may not be responsbile enough to take care of themselves.

I think this could've all been avoided if the coach took a look at the guest list, cause knowing Diddy and his exclusive ass, those boys probably wouldn't have been on the guest list anyway.

Yelling Girl Side Note: Shout out to Diddy who is a Scorpio like me. I'm the 3rd of Nov. he's the 4th! Scorpios rule!

Woman Pops out Crumb-Snatcher on a Plane

2008-12-31T23:09:00.000-08:00

In my best Samuel L. Jackson voice: Enough is enough, I have had it with these motherfucking babies on this motherfucking plane!!!

Alright, so the title of this post was unnecessary, but so is a pregnant woman getting her ass on a plane close to her due date!

A lady gives birth to a baby on her Trans Atlantic flight from the Netherlands. Now, I have a serious beef with this airline; you can't let fat people on the plane but a pregnant woman who is crowning gets a pass?!

Now a real quick side note, I have to apologize to my white girls cause I heard this story and assumed this lady was white. One because this flight was coming from the Netherlands (what are black people doing in the Netherlands) and also because white women (for whatever reason) are always the ones that find themselves giving birth on a busy freeway, lion infested safari, or in the middle of the Bermuda triangle. The only outrageous story I've heard about a black woman giving birth in some strange place is when this lady delivered in an elevator, and she was only in the elevator to go get her husband who was cheating on her.

Who I really feel sorry for are the passengers who had to experience this mess, I got a lot on my mind when I'm flying without the added stress of the lady in A11 needing an episiotomy mid-flight.

Thankfully, there were two physicians on the flight who aided in the delivery. Mom and baby are doing well.

Keeping with the themes of crazy black names, the mom has decided to name her Tranisha Atlantique Jones.

Time Warner and Viacom BFF's again!!!

2008-12-31T22:54:00.000-08:00

So, we all know that there was a lot of drama with TW and Viacom over the last few days. Time Warner was bitching about Viacom's fee increase (and rightly so). While Viacom was not budging on their demand for more money (and rightly so). So, with this stalemate and each side making valid points: TW did not want to add more fees onto their customers and Viacom wanted to increase their already low fees to compensate for financial issues; what was a girl to do?! Miss out on SpongeBob Square Pants?! I THINK NOT!!!

Each side has decided to renegotiate their contract and keep customers happy, I think in the end TW understood that they were going to do their customers a great disservice and could compensate for the few customers they will lose in the rate increase, and Viacom was confident they could make TW their bitch, so it all worked out in the end.

Wait, TW is not my cable provider its Comcast, so why did I give a hoot? No, wait is Comcast the same as TW? Wait, no, I am with Time Warner. No, am I?!

Oh, who cares!! The bottom line is that the world is back to normal and as always decisions affecting the masses financial contribution is made by the rich men who have money!!! And these men probably do not even watch these shows on TV, they have enough money to have the cast of these programs come to their houses and reenact them in their living room.

All I know is with all this hoopla there better be some over the top shows coming from these networks, because I will now be paying and extra $2.76 for them!!! To guarantee good shows, I suggest they call me for a few scripts and casting, lol.

I'm being outed by Facebook

2008-12-31T22:35:00.000-08:00

I love face book, that wonderful social networking site that in its on way is very pretentious. LOL. Anyone who is on this site knows that Facebooks has a way of gearing advertisements towards the individual using the site. From time to time, if you are party girl, you might get ads from night clubs and sexy lingerie boutiques. Or, for you more religious girls, there might be ads to join a Christian group or a dating site for those more morally decided than others. So, it amzaes me that every time I go on Facebook I see various ads for lesbian support groups and lesbian social networking sites, is Facebook trying to tell me something?!

I am not a lesbian!!! Despite, what my relationship status may say about me (30, single, no kids, and living alone). I take great offense to Facebook trying to turn me out like a bad espisode of the L-Word.

Am I the only one who has had this experience? Nothing against my lesbians, but I more DICK Chaney and a lot less ALOTTA Vagina!!!

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T22:28:00.000-08:00

It's officially 2009 and what better way to ring in a new year than with a new outlook on life. While, its great to have a new outlook, its quite unrealistic for some of us. Personally, I have to brow beat myself just to get out of bed sometimes because participating in this world can be such a tedious task. With that being said, to all my pessimistic brothers and sisters who feel like "why bother" is a better attitude to have, I say "Stand Up and Start Living". Stand up for your right to make this world a more productive place, it starts with you.

Forget the resolutions, those half-baked ideas that you promise to carry out; resolutions can be unrealistic. Take it one day at a time and fight for your right to be happy and prosperous.

So, from Yelling Girl, Happy New Year you pessimistic sons of bitches!!!!

:-)

Yelling Girl Movie Review: Yes Man

2008-12-30T06:00:00.001-08:00

Nothing interested me about this movie. A guy who says "no" finally says "yes", big deal! The trailer looked beyond ridiculous, and I was not interested in seeing Jim Carrey portray the same character again! (Goofball gone wild). Now with that being said...

I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!

Okay, its not going to win an Oscar, it might not even get any nominations for anything; but I liked it. It was a feel good movie with a good cast. Jim Carrey renewed my faith in his antics, and reminded me why I go to the movies to see anything that he is in.

I applaud this movie for taking a concept that could have been very cheesey and making it interesting.

If you want to see a good movie with friends, then say "yes" to 'Yes Man'.

Note: I know this movie has been out - but I just saw it, so lay off!!!

Love Ya

Exploiting the Slow

2008-12-29T16:02:00.001-08:00

Was Nas busy?! I mean, remember when rap battles were battles. Cats were spittig serious heat, their flow could stop you cold in your tracks. Apparently, these kids did not have that type of pool to pick out from 'cause they got two of the worlds worst rappers.

Now, I will give my boy Eli some credit because he is slow! No matter how politically incorrect I am, I have to say that even I would not put this dude Eli on blast like this. Clearly, this young man has a mental disability. Now, this dude Envy, I have no clue what his problem is (but clearly he isn't mentally challenged); goofy, yes!

What is even more hilarious is that these dudes who are "judging" use the words: "great", "straight off the brain" (what brain), "genius" - okay, maybe not "genius" but something like that. I don't know what they were watching, cause it wasn't this battle. I can give the guy hosting some slack, cause he was too busy hugging the dude in front of him to pay attention, no telling what was going on when the cameras cut away.

All and all I enjoyed this clip, its old as hell - but it still has the power to make me laugh! So, enjoy.

Vocal Enema

2008-12-29T15:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is exactly why I can't get to sleep at night because of bullshit like this!!! What is this guy doing?!

I had to rewind this like 50 times because the first "oh, yeah" out of his mouth had me on the floor. I ________________________ flatlined!

I don't know what's worse, this guys voice or that he actually got studio time? Please, Kelly Rowland needs studio time, not this dude. (Shout out to Kelly Rowland, I love that girl).

Please, check this guy out on YouTube. Despite, every chance I get to laugh at him, I really do like this guy. He is brilliantly terrible.

Obama for yo' Momma

2008-12-29T15:33:00.000-08:00

No disrespect to Michelle Obama, but her husband is Finnnnnnnnnneeee!!

I didn't know that I could be attracted to a man under 400 lbs. He is the best thing to happen to the White House (looks wise) since JFK.

I know some will give me flack because supposedly Bill was a "fox", and although I wouldn't mind the opportunity to go 1 on 1 with Bill (if he were single) when he dropped down and got his eagle on with Monica, I lost all respect for the man. I mean, come on Bill!

But back to Obama, yes!!! Child, everything about him is right! Those lips, that face, that BOD!!! Obama is a very handsome man, but what makes him even more attractive is that he has a beautiful, intelligent woman by his side. There is nothing like a man who is in love with a woman, and the product of their love is evident (not manufactured, can I get an Amen, Cindy McCain?).

I can't stop thinking about Obama, but I will tell you something - McCain could get it too! Just because he has everything that turns me on in a man: benefits and more than two strans of hair. McCain, not bad for a 90 yr. old Civil War vet (I know it wasn't the civil war, but I don't think he does).

NYC Hot Spot: Dylans Candy Bar

2008-12-29T15:29:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite places to go during the winter time is Dylans Candy Bar on the East side of Manhattan.

Besides the candy that is incredible, you have to try their frozen hot chocolates!!! These drinks are absolutely divine, they have a bunch of different flavors.

If you don't mind being surrounded by some obnoxious children and immature adults, this spot is great!!!

Shout out to everyone at Dylan's you guys are the BEST!!!!

They still make men like this?!

2008-12-25T02:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm bitterly against marriage, love, and complete happiness - but even an old Grinch like me finds this video encouraging.

To all you chicks that still believe in love this is for you.

Don't ask me to post any more positivity for awhile.

WTF?! Why Viagra is a mistake

2008-12-25T01:54:00.000-08:00

Nas said Hip-Hop is dead and this clip does nothing more than solidify that fact.

There are so many things wrong w/ this clip.

Why?
I am mad they had a few hype men in the chorus.
Watch this again, listen to how many coughs you hear. There is no coughing in hip-hop, or at least the music is so loud you don't hear them. Next sound, crickets.
Was this part of some collective white conservative bucket list? "Hey Pearl, I want to 'get jiggy w/ it before I die" "Me too!"
Was this or was this not filmed in a church?! Seriously, these people are like 2 hours from meeting Jesus, you'd think they would try to keep the slate clean at this point.
Unless you are Ashton Kutcher, I don't think any man wants their girlfriend to look like any of the women in this choir - so they could've left 'Dontcha' off the selection list.
The sad part about adding Hammer to the line-up, is that most of these people were young when he was last relevant.
Is it me or did you wish that they would take off their clothes in 'Hot in here', you know just to cap off the foolishness of this video.
Did you or did you not, after watch this clip, think that this is all Obama's fault?! People, get a black president and don't know who to act.

Put A Ring On It?!

2008-12-05T11:53:00.001-08:00

I know I'm late with this but, um, what the hell is Beyonce talking about with this bullshit about 'If you like it then you should'a put a ring on it'?!

The audacity of this chick, to start this song out with 'All my single ladies put your hands up'! Well, bitch, put your hand down - DON'T YOU HAVE A MAN?! That nigga behind you with them soup coolers that also double for a blow dryer, yeah, that nigga. Ain't that yours?! Okay, then sit your ass down!

I love Beyonce but I'm telling you ladies, keep listening to Beyonce and your ass gonna be in a world of trouble. Don't listen to no woman with: millions of dollars, who can get any man she wants, is a fashion god, and has a body most women would kill for, when she tells you something about making demands on men!

Beyonce is takling that shit cause she's got Jay-Z and together they made like 180 million dollars last year, hell if she liked it she could've put a ring on it first.

See, I'm not so quick to talk shit cause I know what the dating pool looks like right now and I'm in the deep end swiming around the algea looking for anyting with a pulse, a job, and teeth (and not in that order - and you dont even have to have them all to seal the deal, cause I'm sure there are plenty of sexy cadavers at the morgue right now). I've been in the club during last call when every Nigerian from here to Tennessee is looking for a woman to marry him for his papers. Or the nigga still wearing a Jheri culr, but calling it "good hair" cause he shoved some light contacts in his eyes and wants you to believe he's Rihann's brother.

The last time I spent time with a quality man, it was with my grandfather over the phone (and as much as I've been tempted, my grandma is still alive, so gramps is off limits). You can roll your eyes all you want, but my grandfather gets them 'old people' checks, and since I haven't had sex in over six months - it's better to be in a sexless relationship with my grandfather and his checks, then some silly nigga living with his entire extended family in a 1 bedroom in Harlem (I got tell ya'll about that later).

Getting back to Beyonce; this is the same chick that not even four years ago was talking that shit about 'Say My Name', then she gets some dick and all of a sudden she expects us to 'Cater2' niggas.

I have to say this because I have a bunch of my girlfriends who quotes this chick like she wrote all the books in the Bible. Turn your Beyonce Bible's to the Book of Sasha Fierce chapter 2, Bug-A-Boos.

My motto is "If you like it, put half on the cab and the condoms and we'll talk about the rest". When you're getting up in age, broke, eggs drying up, and got the shape of a woman whose had five children, you can't talk shit, you just compromise!!!

*Note the ring listed in this post, is my dream wedding ring. Make a note mommy, cause when I wind up old, bitter, and lonely I'm gonna expect you to buy that for me :-)

**Second note: to all my Beyonce obsessed friends do not write me telling me how great Beyonce is. I bought all the bitchs' albums so I can talk shit - now put your money where your mouth is and go get her album AND I MEAN PAY FOR IT - limewire don't count!!!

Married Men: Lifes' Shitty Fisher

2008-12-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

The Problem

Okay, so I'm ?? year's old now (hey, if you want to know 'Put A Ring On It'), and most of my friends are married or on their way to wedded bliss. With this new demographic in my social circle I have unwarrantably gained a new pest in my life known as the Married Man.

There is nothing more pathetic and desperate than a man who is married, but for some reason isn't satisfied that one woman thought enough of his ass to marry him; but now he has to make it his mission to have every woman in his life co-sign his wife's attraction.
*ROLLING EYES*
Seriously, its takes me breathing exercises and a call to my therapist just to hold a 5 min. conversation with my mother, without having to worry about some grown ass man having anxiety attacks over his own sexual prowess.

I'm a single woman, there are enough men out there who won't get into a productive relationship with me, for me to stop for some dude who not only can't commit to me but is possibly going to get me in a slap-match if his wife finds out we are playing with FIRE.

I have one friend in particular (even though I'm sure this could apply to several male friends of mine who read this blog), this guy is a real nut job when it comes to his lust for what I call FWM (Flirting While Married). I can't bring any of my single girlfriends around him without him hiking up his pants, and licking his lips (think your old ass great-uncle who ain't got no business in the clubs, but still doing the electric slide every Fri and Sat with people 35 years his junior). Despite, my attempts to assure him that he still has it - he still feels its his duty to grind up on my girlfriends and ask them for their numbers when we are out at the club.

The Reason

It's just plain pathetic, and this seems to be a epidemic with married men. You want to know why? Because men fishers, but after they get that big fish (wifey) then the fishing becomes hobby. They continue to cast their lines, even though they have 1 big ass fish in their boat already. Married men just want to keep reeling in more fish, so they can look at the fish and brag that they bagged it and then throw it back into the pond.

And what happens to the fish? The fish sees what's on the other side and is now scared that shit may happen again, so now you got a pond of scared ass fish - swimming in a circle so they don't get caught up by this bullshit again... And from this fear spawns the group of girls that single men complain about. 10 chicks huddled in a circle, hovering over reach other making sure no one can cast their lines of bullshit (especially married men) into the POB (pond of bitches).

In Conclusion

So, married men on behalf of all the single women in the world: We see your ass, "yes" you got it going on, now go sit your ass down next to your wife - before we show her the worm you tried to feed us.

*SMH*

Not Marriage Material

2008-08-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

Somewhere along the line I became rehab for all insecure men who want to detox. They come to me with their bullshit, issues and excuses; I nurse them back to health and then they leave. I'm the 'emotional trash can'. I have taken the trash out three times, already. What is my prize for this? I get left with the mess while the next woman gets the man.

"There is just something about you, I don't know what it is. It's just that I know what I want in a wife and you are just not IT. You're not marriage material." - this excerpt came from one of many conversations with HE WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS

I gave this man everything and all of me, for this he'd at least give me some dignity in the separation; no, I get a list of reasons why I'm not marriage material. The list was superficial but like a sucker I listened. It tuned out one of the paramount reason had to do with my weight. OUCH. Here all this time I actually thought I was a good looking big girl, but the whole time the one guy that I wanted to be attracted to me and what I had to offer, wasn't.

Then we have the guy that I'm currently dating. This guy hasn't even slept with me and already the pressure is on to determine if I'm Marriage Material. That's a lot of pressure, considering that I'm the first black woman he has dated ever, despite the fact that he is so black he makes Wesley Snipes look like Chris Brown. So, compounded is the pressure not only to be "Marriage Material", I also have to take on the responsibility that if I fuck this up he'll never date black women again.

Why do women constantly put themselves in this situation? Why all this pressure to be Marriage Material. Is this a new reality show that only men are aware of? America's Next Top Wife?

Women spend so much time:

Trying to be a good homemaker - We feel like we have to rival Bette Crocker in the kitchen. They say the way to a mans' heart is through his stomach, I beg to differ, I think a great head game works just as good.
Trying to be a freak in the bed and a lady in the sheets - You are Snow White around his parents but cupping balls and licking ass at night.
Trying to be a career woman - No longer is the day of the housewife what a man wants, now we got to get our asses out and work and help bring home half the bacon. Then when we get home we got to fry the shit in a pan too, while he scratches his balls and sniffs to see if he needs to take a shower tonight.
Trying to be a good mom - You have to pray that he has some nieces and nephews you can pretend to like so you can show him how good a mom you will be.

ALL THIS SHIT AND WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?

He is scouting out other women and making a list. The other women are so he's dick doesn't get dry while he is in rebound and the list is so he can reinforce your insecurities by telling you how worthless you are and why he is leaving you, "it's all your fault, didn't you know that?". It's absolutely absurd!

I sat in front of my ex recently, letting him go over a laundry list of why I'm not shit and won't be shit, and you know what I did?! I just sat there. I sat there and contemplated and even considered what I could do to change his mind. I thought so hard and so long about this shit that I got a headache. So, guess what I did after that?! I took two Excedrins, I called a few of my girls, I called him (but on some other shit) and then I went out with the guy that has never dated black women and I then broke it off with him because you know what I don't need that shit. I took myself home and then I went to sleep, and while I slept I prayed and had a conversation with God. You know what God told me?! He said put your focus somewhere else for awhile. He was right.

Instead of trying to be Marriage Material I should try to be Me Material. We only have a certain time to be what we are going to be, and I certainly don't want to look up 40 years from now and realize that I wasted all this time trying to win over a man when I could've won over my goals and been happy. I may not ever get the man that I love right now, but you know at least I get better at getting happy. Working for someones love and approval is not the road to happiness, its actually below mediocre. I don't know about you but who has time to work 40 hours a week on a job and then come home and still have to work to make sure you are the perfect person for someone else. FUCK THAT!

This has been a serious rant, and its had many run on sentences but the point is clear. I wasted two and half years on someone who never loved me, and will never think i'm good enough for them. I don't want anyone to suffer the same fate, its not too late for you and its not to late for me. Go out today and be the best woman you can be.

Life

2008-08-14T13:32:00.000-07:00

Hello Girls (and Boys),

Its been a minute since I've posted on Yelling Girl, but I will be back in full force in a few days. I've had a few technical difficulties w/ my computer so that has been the hold up.

Before I go, I just wanted to say:

Always love yourself before you love anyone else! (except for God).

See you soon,

Love Yamaneika

Gettin' Po'litical up in this Piece!

2008-06-05T04:46:00.001-07:00

When I saw this shit I almost fell out of my seat. Can someone please tell Senator Robert Byrd that the Grim Reaper is on the other line and he needs to click over? This man is so old, I saw dinosaur bones fall out of his briefcase. Many of you might not know this but Senator Byrd was the chaperon at Jesus' prom.

The hilarious part of this clip is that he seems to be doing a Eulogy to Ted Kennedy who is probably somewhere in a hot tub with two women while his wife makes margaritas. I might not know which horse will come in first at the Kentucky Durby, but I do know Ted is certainly going to out live Senator Byrd.

Let me say I get it, Ted Kennedy just had brain surgery but he is doing fine (so the reports say) why is this man already doing a Eulogy? And Byrd goes in and out of doing a Eulogy and praying for Ted; get it right pops, is he dead or alive?!

Just watch this:

Come On Now!

2008-06-04T16:08:00.000-07:00

With the lack of health care in this country, poverty on the rise, and global genocide; it's only logical that Sarah Jessica Parker would be concerned about wearing a dress that has seen more pussy than Rick James and OJ at a Bar-B-Que for the Association of White Women.

Apparently, Ms. Parker's dress that she wore to the premier of 'Sex and the City' was not only worn by Lauren Santo Domingo, but worst yet Lindsey "Trying to be a Lesbian" Lohan wore the dress on her cover spread of Vanity Fair.

Nina Ricci is the designer of the dress and I'm not sure if Ms. Ricci should be more embarrassed of her professional oversight or the fact that her dress was so forgettable no one remember even remembered seeing on Vanity Fair until yesterday!

Parker has gone on to say, "My affection for the dress hasn't changed, but what they did was so short-sighted. It's just unethical and disappointing that they would allow the dress to be worn again." Really? Unethical?! Unethical?! OMG, someones been living on the Upper East Side too long. This from a woman who grew up in a poor family, with like 10 brothers and sisters, this is what she considers to be unethical.
What's even more disturbing is that Parkers is suppose to be a "style icon" why didn't she notice that the dress had made more runs around Hollywood then Kim Kardashian?

I'm so sick of this bullshit and Hollywood. Let get our priorities straight, this shit is not new and I don't give a damn and neither should you. Now let me go back to my Google search of Volunteering to help the homeless, something Ms. Parker is apparently too busy to do!

Funny Blast From the Past!

2008-06-04T03:48:00.000-07:00

I remember the day that I saw this clip, it was a parody of LL Cool J's Momma Said Knock U Out, I hadn't even heard the original version before I saw this clip because I grew up in a strictly religious household. When I saw this clip, I wanted to instantly see it again, fortunately for me I had VCR and it was recording. Over the years tapes get misplaced, so I was so happy to find this on YouTube and I am posting it for you all to enjoy.

Shawn Wayan's is portraying Jimmy Walker's character J.J. from 'Good Times' singing a parody version of LL's Momma Said Knock U Out.

WTFiles!

2008-06-04T02:49:00.000-07:00

I have seen some horrible fashion statements in my life, most of them made by me from '93-95 but are you serious?! Who the hell is he suppose to be? The nigga from Johnny Quest, Hodgie or whatever his name was?!

This man you see in the, OMG I can't believe I'm about to type this shit, purple crush velvet slippers, pink snake skin trench (where the fuck did he find a damn pink snake) and turban is none other than Andre Leon Talley! The damn fashion editor for Vogue! (Shaking my head hard) When he put this outfit on somewhere on the Westside two tranny's lost their wings.

Unfortunately, he is not the only fashion mishap in this picture; Hello, Naomi! What's going on, girl? Whipped so many asses no one will style you know without a restraining order and a can of mace? This is what happens when you go around fucking up the help, you got to depend on the only gay man that missed Fabulous class because he was too busy getting back shot by his gym teacher. But, you are still gorgeous!

I hope this never happens again, cause between the two of them they make Cephus and Reesie Mayweather of In Living Color look like Mr and Mrs GQ!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXscFeF9hf4

Yelling Girl: The Raw

2008-06-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

I want to thank those of you have come to this blog and posted your comments. Yelling Girl is only as popular as you make it. I feel that I have something to say for all the frustrated and partially bitter individuals, namely women, who see that life is not always a bed of roses.

Here is what Yelling Girl is:

1) Unedited - 99.9% of the time I don't do a spell check or re-read my posts before publishing them. I do this for a number of reasons: First, I don't want to censor myself; and secondly, I don't want to mince my words. When I have a feeling about something I want to get it out and I want to make no apologizes for it, unless in those rare occasions where I really overstep my bounds and personally attack someone who is innocent or unable to defend themselves.

2) Raw - Yes, there is cursing on this site. Yes, I am a Christian. Yes, I still need prayer. The inner essence of a person lies not in their language but in their heart, if you disagree and are horribly offended by my cursing, quite possibly Yelling Girl is not for you. But I wouldn't all a thing like choice of words stand in the way of true liberation and empowerment.

3) Tacky - Yes, I will say some things that should not be said. I'm a stand-up comic, I almost will not ever be able to help that. I see life differently than most, and am not as offended by reality as the average person. This blog is for like minded persons who either feel the same way I feel or can appreciate my candor.

I hope this gives a little insight.

I want to thank you all for your time in checking out Yelling Girl, its is nothing with out you and I am nothing with out God!

Yamaneika
President, Yelling Girl

Sexy And The City!

2008-06-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

Unlike most of the other guppies women around the world, I did not go to see 'Sex and the City'. Call me jaded, but I see nothing fascinating about watching four white women run around Manhattan in Prada and Gucci complaining about bullshit problems like: not have the right outfit to match your new Fendi shoes, or how to let down the mail room boy you've been fucking for three months because you've finally decided to get serious with the CEO of Apple Computers. If I wanted to see a bunch of Catch U Next Tuesday'S walking around being obnoxious then I would just look out my window.

As a matter of fact, I live on the Upper East Side (well, until rent is due anyway) and I've never seen one woman look like Carrie or the rest of the cattle. You want to know what women in Manhattan really look like, watch the Real Housewives of New York.

Call me a bitch, no really call me a bitch I live for that, but I remember a story about 13 years ago centered around four women dealing with life - its was called 'Waiting to Exhale'. How come when four white women are dealing with life its about Sex and the City, but four sistahs got to be waiting to exhale? I mean, really!

Instead of Hollywood being so obnoxious and making everything so one sided, how about actually putting together a movie that has women of all backgrounds and lifestyles. It's no longer 1923, we all live cohesively together now.

Just my opinion. Now if you want to really go see a great movie - go see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, I saw it twice!

Where It All Began: The first time Yelling Girl Yelled!

2008-06-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

Here is some old Yelling Girl, basically this is what started it all! I wrote this at the beginnig of the year cause I was having a bad time with insomnia and still thinking about my ex, and all that shit. All I'm gonna say before you read this, is that I'm in a better place now!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!This is a rant, so I suggest you leave now if you ain't down w/ rants cause this is about to be a doozy!!!

Here it is 8:29 a.m. and I'm working on about 2 seconds of sleep because i'm working on some shit that needs my attention and what happens?! Everyone body and their damn momma wants to interrupt me with their bullshit!

Culprit #1: THE NEEDY HOMEGIRL

This bitch has the nerve to call me with her man problems. BITCH I DONT HAVE A MAN WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME SHIT ABOUT MEN?! I WAS ABOUT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THEM!!! I'm not hardly in a productive relationship and I got to hear about how her man is abusing her or some shit!!!! BITCH WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT HIM HITTING YOU? AT LEAST YOU GOT A MAN TO HIT YOU, SHIT TELL HIS ASS TO COME OVER AND HIT MY ASS FOR VALENTINES DAY!!! Why do I have to keep hearing this same repetitive shit over and over again!

No matter what I say she's just going to go back to him.

Culprit #2: IRRESPONSIBLE FRIEND

I agreed to house sit for a friend of mine who was suppose to be back in town yesterday!! This bitch, has the nerve to stay away two extra days and then has the nerve to ask me to be on-call to deliever the keys to her at HER CONVIENENCE!!!!

The worst part is, I haven't stepped foot in the house since she left cause she's got more mice up in her crib then the Mickey Mouse club!!! I told her I would take up the traps, but I can't do that shit!!! I DONT MEAN TO PUT ANYONE DOWN but I grew up in the suburbs, the worst we had were granddaddy long legs and spiders!!! I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO MICE!!!! I watched her take up a trap with a baby mouse on it (mind you, she's the one that said it was a baby, the nicca looked like a damn possum if you ask me. If that was the baby I'd hate to see the Parent).

Why on earth did I agree to house sit for her with these damn mice!

I come over there they building amusment park rides all over the place and charging admission!

Culprit #3: THE OVERACHIEVER

I know she just wants to help, but please dont help me!!!! I know I told you I wanted to lose weight in 2008, but bitch you know I didnt mean that!!!! Please stop calling me at 5 a.m. cause you want to make sure i'm up to go to the gym!!!! Take your big ass to the gym and call me when you get there, my exercise will be 10 arm reps of reaching for the phone and 1 thumb curl to hang it up!!!

I get so tired of this "See, this is why I dont believe you when you say you want to lose weight". Bitch ,you dont believe me because I've known your ass for over 8 years and you aint see me do nothing but eat like a hog and smoke cigarettes!!! Lets take this 1 step at a time!!!

Culprit #4: GAY MALE FRIEND

Please, don't take your ass out in NYC flapping like a fan in a Baptist Church on a Hot Summer Sunday and then wonder why someone tries to beat the shit out of you up in the Bronx, you know them niccas dont play "obvious" shit out there. Please, dont call me at 4 a.m. cause I live in Manhattan and tell me that you want to meet up to cry. Call Justin Timberlake bitch, cause he sang Cry Me A River. I wrote that Soulja Boi song "Yeah, Yeah, Bitch".

Culprit #5: LYING FRIEND

Please, dont make plans to do something with me and its already for a late time and then LIE LIKE A STUPID RAT ABOUT WHERE YOU WERE AND WHY YOU DIDN'T PICK UP YOUR PHONE!!!ADDITIONALLY DONT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND SAY YOU COULDNT PICK UP THE PHONE CAUSE YOU GOT ARRESTED!!!! Really? Arrested?!YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU CONFIRMED AT 8 P.M. THAT WE ARE MEETING SO I COULD BRAID YOUR RAGGEDY ASS HEAD AND SOME HOW YOU GOT ARRESTED AND WENT TO CENTRAL BOOKING AND GOT PROCESSED, PRESENTED YOUR CASE, AND GOT OUT BY 12:13?! They dont move that fast baby, ASK OJ!

This No-Doz i'm poppin' aint working, i'm only eating healthy so I have not junk food to fuel me. If one of them damn mice walked pass me right now I would put them on the grill and get to skewing!!!Sorry....no need to repsond....just talking to myself!!!!!

Psycho Academy

2008-06-02T20:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, class is in session. I am professor Yelling Girl.

The lesson for today, creating fake online ID's.

Now we've all done it one time or another, either because we are too embarrassed to reveal who we are online or because we are stalking our ex-boyfriends. Now, the lesson for today will focus on the latter.

I will say off the bat, that I am guilty and currently committing this crime. There is something just very pleasing about keeping tabs on someone who you are no longer in a relationship with, especially if they broke up with you. Now, this situation is very distressing to the person you are duping into thinking you are someone else, but let's not focus on them right now - because lets face it, when they broke up with you they didn't give a rats ass about your feelings.

The issues is what are you doing it for? I mean, really?! What for? Eventually, you will have to let them in on the secret, especially when the awkward time comes to exchange pictures.

Here is why you do it:

You have contact with them. In your sick twisted world any contact is good contact, even if it requires you to pretend you are not the person that they once were into but are no longer feeling. So, if your ex takes the bait all you've done is shown him that there is someone out there that makes him feel alive again - and its not you, unless you are pretending to be someone else.

You proving to yourself that he was a jerk. Nice try, but not really. If you are no longer with him what makes you think he is not currently and actively trying to find someone else? And its the Internet, more than likely he is chatting with more people than your alter ego.

You are going to scare him from flirting online. This one misses the mark too. All your fake ID creating does is make it necessary for him to require a picture upfront. And possibly, request that you talk over the phone immediately just so he knows its not you playing games.

Here is my story: I was so carried away and obsessed with an ex that i've stalked them over the Internet . Okay, not stalked like he put it in the court papers , but checked up on. At one point the thought of this person being with another person drove me crazy . Now flash forward 2 years later, I'm not really checking up on this person, but they accidentally run across one of my profiles that I created and never shut down. They actually initiate conversation with me, but at this point I dont really care. However, I found this situation where I am now talking to him because I dont want to hurt his feelings and tell him that i'm not interested , and doubly so because i dont want him to think i created this id just for him. Now, i'm in a situation where i'm lying to avoid hurting someone who hurt me. What kinda sick, twisted mess is this?

Save yourself a lot of hassle and do what this person has done to you; completely forget them.

If you feel that you can't move on, seek counseling. Go out and party. Lean on your girls, that's what you have them bitches for, when shit gets tight. Or better yet, put your 'Freak um' dress on and find another dude that will dump your ass in no time flat. Just leave this one alone.

Close those damn ID's and go on living your life as the fabulous woman you are!

IF YOU HAVE FAKE ID'S SHUT THEM DOWN!!!

Birthday Wishes to, my Momma!

2008-06-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

This is a Happy Belated Birthday wish to my mom, Michelle! Thanks for always being in my corner and for being a very supportive force in my life.

When the chips are down, you are always there (mostly because you are knocking them down!...just kidding, cause my momma don't play - she'll still go upside my head).

Wishing you a Happy Birthday!

Love your daughter and emotional burden,

Yamaneika

*actual date of birth 6/1

And I'm Telling You, I'm not going a damn place!

2008-06-02T20:06:00.000-07:00

Are you a stalker or do you get to steppin' after you've been dumped?

I realized after my last break-up that I am El Pollo Loco. I looked crazier than John Travolta's w/ that tacky a$$ lace front wig. And sounded siller than Monique saying she's only 220 lbs.

I've done everything from:
1) Threaten to call the date rape crisis center
2) Hack into e-mail accounts
3) Leave loving messages
4) Leave death threats
5) Threaten to post his number on Craigslist
6) Pretend to get married to the King of a small tribe in Africa to make him jealous
7) Threaten to put Crystal Meth in his veins while he slept.

DONT WORRY I'M BETTER NOW, THAT WAS LAST WEEK - TIME HEALS!

Take this time to think about the worst things you've ever done to your ex, and get down on your knees and pray you never do anything like that again!

*Note: If you are currently doing any of the above, seek professional help. Sometimes we need it.

That Hot Shit!

2008-06-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

When I first heard this song American Boy, I was like whatever! We've got enough shit in this country that promotes American boy this, American girl that, which only equates to cookie cutter and "perfect". Then when I found out this song was sung by a black woman - I was like, "here we go", then when I found out she was from England I really copped a 'tude (what does she know about an American boy?). As normally in my life, I put my foot in my mouth big time. When I finally took the time to listen to this song, I was captive by the vocals; not only because Kanye was on it (man, I love him!) but because the voice along side his was (in my opinion) gritty, irreverent w/ a touch of bandint disregard (which in my world translates to FLAWLESS!).

It's unfortunate that this young lady hasn't gotten the play that she deserves, but in this day of pussy poppin' female artists, weaved down, over made and processed - you are hard pressed to find someone who betrays all those things (and still is beautiful).

Without any further ado, I present ESTELLE

Be sure to BUY her shit! She can't afford for you all to download her stuff, because people have already tried to stop her once already!

More than Just A Man, Yves Saint Laurent

2008-06-02T17:45:00.000-07:00

"The most beautiful clothes that a woman can wear are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who do not have the luck to find such happiness, I am there" -Yves Saint Laurent

It pains my heart when a man who brings such passion, creativity, grace and style to women passes on. Let's have a moment of silence for a man who understood the true essence of elegance and style !

*Note from the editor: I was hard pressed to find a picture of Mr. Laurent looking old, cause white men have it in their clause that all pictures of them looking old perish when they die!

That Hot Shit!

2008-06-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hey, Yelling Girls!

From time to time things motivate me creatively and I figured what better way to showcase the things that i'm feeling then by putting them on Yelling Girl! Now normally I'm not feeling Erykah Badu, not because she isn't fabulous (because she totally is), but for some reason my loyalty to Jill Scott won't let me like Erykah like that. Even with my bias to Jill, I got to show Erykah some love for her new video 'Honey'. It's very creative, and in a weird way symbolize all the creativity that Badu has offered us over the years.

So, I'm gonna forget about Jill for just one second and go back to loving Erykah like I used to when I was a junior in high school driving to Pasadena with my girls.

HOT-Wee (Hottie of the Week): Perv Pick!

2008-05-26T02:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this might not always be a theme that I will do on Yelling Girl, but I just had to put up this little cutie that I think is so adorable (2 more years and he's legal, ladies). Skandar Keynes, is a British actor who I am familiar with as the character King Edmund in the Chronicles of Narnia films.

Keep a eye out for this kid, I think he's going to be really big one day!

I better rush and have a daughter, cause I'm totally going to try and get her to marry this kid!

"What You Talkin' 'Bout, Wilma?"

2008-05-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I had seen it all, I see some shit that makes me want to personally request that God wipe out this entire planet and just start all over again!

I see a woman (who was so pregnant that the baby was crowning) coming out of a bar! That's not the worse part! Cause she could or could not have been drinking inside the bar. But what this woman did next absolutely blew my mind. She lit a fucking C-I-G-A-R-E-T-T-E! Cigarettes cause cancer and lead to all types of health issues in the world on a daily basis. Not only that you have to be 18 here in the United States to even partake in smoking a cigarette. Second hand smoke is a leading killer of many people in this country. If it has this type of effects on adults and children, imagine what it does to an undeveloped fetus depending solely on its mother for nutritional substance. To make matters worse this woman was joined in this foolish escapade by her man and a friend.

I was floored, and it takes a lot to floor me. I mean, I have seen a homeless man take a shit right in front of me at the bus stop and ask me for toilet paper so he can wipe his ass. The first thing I thought of was making a citizens arrest. So, I get on the phone with the local police station to see if there is anyway they could intervene with this obvious declaration of parental neglect. I would would've gotten more attention from the police if I had told them that a kitten was stuck up a tree then telling them that I saw this pregnant woman coming out of a bar and lighting up a cigarette. The officer I spoke to was not moved to even fake a response of concern, opting to give me accolades for being a good citizen in knowing that what I saw was obviously wrong, but not before telling me there was absolutely nothing I could do but give the woman an ashtray as a baby gift.

The officer, however, was not that only person to dismiss my gripe as an unfortunate side affect of my overly sensitive sense of morales. Every freaking person I spoke to stated that it was "her right" to do as she pleased. These people (the bouncer, the patrons, the nonchalant police officer) all seemed to think this response in someway negated their responsiblity in this matter. Since when did a woman's "right" mean it was okay for her to infringe on the safety of others? In this case the fetus, her own flesh and blood!

Just recently in the news a couple was sentenced to jail time for allowing their 2 year old to smoke cigarettes and drink beer; I don't see any difference in this case. We have allowed this feminist shit to get out of hand, and I'm not okay with it! Somewhere along the line we dropped the responsibility ball in this country and for that people are running amuck. Just because "it isn't against the law" doesn't mean that is right. This is my plea, the next time you see a pregnant woman walking out of a bar and lighting up a cigarette smack it out of her hand and then slap her in the face and say "That's from your baby, bitch! Stop that!"

Hillary: Sit your Ass Down!!!

2008-05-21T20:07:00.000-07:00

Let me prference this by saying that I was absolutely in love w/ Hillary for years. One, because she is a Scorpio like me. Second, because she got to cuddle up every night w/, my husband in my head, Bill Clinton.

I respect everything that Hillary does and has done in the past, but for the first time I am asking her sit down. I know that look in her eye, its the same look I get when I'm trying to prove a point. We get it, Hil, we know you are awesome and fantastic. Hillary has done for the movement and liberation of women, since the bra burning incident of the feminist movement. But now its time to take a seat, be a real woman and accept defeat.

This is exactly why men hold claim that no woman should ever grace the seat of Commander and Chief, because we don't know how to let shit go.

Remember when you were a little girl and the bitch down the street decided to have her party on the same day of your birthday party? She was only having a regular party, she could have easily changed the date of her party, but no she just had to prove that she had more friends than you and keep the party going. Then all your friends had to make this awkward choice, do they come to your party or hers? They like you both, but only one can glory in that day. Even if they decide to split the time, none of the guest really give their full attention to you THE BIRTHDAY GIRL! Then at the end of the day you are reeling, because she fucked up your birthday w/ her stubbornness.

This is the same thing. Obama is having his birhtday party, but Hilary is throwing a slumber party. In the end, McCain will get the most gifts!

Hilary, take this for what it is. Sit down, run next time. Please, dont be responsible for the Democratic defeat, yet again!

Letter From The Editor: Wake the "F" Up, Chick!!!

2008-05-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

To every big woman who has ever questioned her worth because of a man. (Skinny chicks you can get something out of this too.)

This chick has put up some shit thats got my blood boiling. To all the women around the world: If you dont start picking your fucking heads up and stomping around this motherfucker like you the shit. And I dont mean that bullshit that you say when you trying to front. We all know that its hard being a big girl, but its harder when we got these other low self-esteem, raggedy ass, emotionally abused motherfuckers stomping around here holding their gotdamn heads down!!!

If I have another dude think he is running this game because he has a dick, last time I checked a dick belonged in a pussy...so what is a dick w/ out a pussy, but a dick?!If we had brains enough to stop playing these damn games and stop letting a man use us like a piece of meet, or tell us that we aren't good enough for his attention or time then we'd have more control over this situation.I mean, even I have denied my own self the respect I deserve because I've allowed a motherfucker to think he was the green to my fucking pasture on the other side of the garden.

Here is a list of shit we need to stop doing:

Stop looking for a man to complete you
Stop looking to be a bride and focus on being a brilliant chick
Stop looking for the perfect man, he doesn't exist. Mostly, because your ass ain't perfect so what do you need a perfect man for?
Stop comparing yourself to other bitches and start comparing yourself to yourself last year. If you game is still on the same level either quit or get the users guide, look for the section that says "tips and hints" and take notes.
Stop waiting for a man to take you out. You got a credit card bitch, fucking take yourself out and at the end of the night pay yourself back w/ the RABBIT.
Stop going to these bars looking for Mr. Right, go in there looking for Mr. DJ and get your groove on
Stop sulking when a man puts you down or says he isn't feeling you, just be glad that motherfucker was smart enough to move out the way so you Mr. Almost Perfect can come in.
Stop waiting for a man to validate you
Stop giving your pussy to a nigga who isnt giving you any affection, love or attention. Unless, you just want to fuck him then okay...but dont make it a habit.
Stop praying for a man. Sometimes Jesus wants to hear us dote on Him. Remember, He loves us too so why dont we show Him attention. Don't make the Lord put you on Call Waiting, cause you still praying about the same shit you was praying about 10 years ago.
Stop settling for any old thing because you got: kids, been married, over the hill, overweight, bald. You dont have to settle cause you are fine just the way you are.
Stop recycling niggas. You pussy is not a recycle bin so stop trying to collect the glass deposit on a dick that is better off being biodegradable. I dont care how much of a dick shortage there is, there are enough dildos for every woman.
Stop stalling your life and live
Stop reading this and apply this. I had to put a 14 cause I didnt want to leave w/ just 13.

Bottom line, cause this rant was all over the place and unorganized. I dont want to come in here anymore and see some shit about men talking greasy about women and how they want this and want that, cause bottom line is women are beautiful no matter what and we all got a pussy that gets wet. You got a problem, shut off the fucking lights, pull down your pants, and feel for the pussy. You aint got to look at it to fuck it, but you do have to respect it for it to let you in.

Forgive me for this harsh tone, Lord - something just have to be said!

*Kisses*

Diamond N Da' Rough!

2008-05-21T19:12:00.000-07:00

It rare that you will find a talented performer that can take on two of the industries greatest beasts, stand-up comedy and impersonation.

Stand-up takes timing and skill, something that many comics take years to hone. The same qualities are incorporated in impersonation; getting your subjects mannerisms and persona down to simplistic perfection. We (comics and impersonators) make it easy when we success, and very uncomfortably comical when we fail.

In my spotlight section, "Diamond N Da' Rough", I felt it was apropos to spotlight a talented young brother whose last name just happens to be Diamond!

Introducing....Lloyd Diamond

Lloyd Diamond as Sammy Davis

Lloyd Diamond as Ray Charles

For booking formation contact Mr. Diamonds management at: http://www.myspace.com/superbad2000

Hot Knot!

2008-04-23T04:44:00.000-07:00

Girls,

We can't pay tribute to an obvious hottie, without taking time to give props to the Nottie that is an undercover hottie. What I mean is, there is always that dude that isn't the best looking piece of beef in the stew, but he adds just as much flavor.

I want to introduce Yelling Girls first Hot Knot, Mr. Danny DeVito.

I may be the only one who finds him remotely attractive, but you got to love a guy with a sense of humor. Did I mention that he is totally cute?!

He has been my secret crush for years and I have yet to meet a man who has knocked him off his throne.

Danny, if you and Rhea every break-up, call me!

HOT-Wee: Hottie Of The WEEk

2008-04-23T04:31:00.000-07:00

Good Morning, Girls.

In our first Hottie of the week (Hot-Wee) installment I will take it upon myself to list my personal favorite, hurting 'em with his crossover appeal.

I got to give this brother props for not only being one of a few brothers to hold it down in the game, but for marrying one of my B-More homegirls Mrs. Jada Pinket-Smith.

That's right, my hottie of the week is...WILL SMITH.

When he said I AM LEGEND he wasn't playing. So, we give tribute to him and all his hotness!!!

If you'd like to nominate a hottie of the week, please hit me up at theyelllinggirl@yahoo.com.

"What You Talkin' 'Bout, Wilma?"

2008-04-22T21:54:00.000-07:00

Here is one of our spotlight sections called "What You Talkin' 'Bout, Wilma?"

From time to time I run across something that makes me want to look outside and make sure the clouds are still in the sky. Today is one of those days. While doing my normal search on YouTube, I ran across a song called "Smell Yo Dick". Now, I wish like hell I was lying, but that's the title of the song.

The song begins with a woman cursing out her man because one of her girlfriends caught him at the club earlier that night with another chick. She then proceeds to tell him that she needs to, yes, smell his penis to verify that he has been with a chick. Now, exactly what is that suppose to smell like?! Forget I asked.

Okay, so this is wrong on so many levels, but let's pick apart the obvious first. Why are we smelling dicks? More importantly, why is this women smelling her man's dick? If your girl already caught them at the club what more proof do you need? This is taking things a bit to far, don't you think? If I see the expiration date on my milk was 14 days ago, there is no need for me to sniff my milk; I would say the same rules apply with dicks.

What's even more reprehensible about this song, is that it makes women look desperate. No man is worth this much humiliation. Seriously, you want to play investigator go sleuth out your next man, don't waste time rummaging through crotch rot.

All I can say is ewwww.

Now for you nasty tricks that want to see what i'm talking about, you know you do, here is the link:

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Why is it Yelling Girl?

2008-04-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome Readers,

I am so excited about this blog and I welcome you all to come by and show love. This blog will feature everything from rants to poems, all of which will pertain to women. Why, you may ask? Well, because in today's society women don't often get to voice their opinions in a way that challenge the male machismo that seems to be running rampant and free in this society.

I thank God that I had the fortunate pleasure of being brought up in an household and family that was dominated by independent and free-thinking women. It saddens me when I look out into the world today and see all the women that are so readily available to become a stereotype of the typical "brainless" woman with no conscious of what her wayward action will do to the rest of the community of women who want to create an atmosphere of equality.

Now, this is in no way a blog to bash men, but a way for women to just have their own equivalent to the male "locker room". I will from time to time get on women's case, as well as men. Ultimately, I want this blog to be a forum for me to share my experiences and hope that they resonate with other women.

As we grow, there will be featured blog subjects and more interactive play. I encourage any woman that wants to post a featured story or rant to email me at theyellinggirl@yahoo.com. I will gladly publish.

Well, that's it for now. Let's just sit back and see what happens!

God Bless,

Yamaneika