Where the F*^%K to they find these men?!

Essence has come out with its annual 'Will You Marry Me' bullshit. This is where .0023 % of those 30% of black women who will find a man, gets a marriage proposal of a life time.

As much as I want to hate on these women, hey they found their man, so congratulations! I just want to know where they found these guys?! The stories this year are very dramatic and makes me wonder why I can't keep a man for more than .24 seconds! One man decided to commit his life to his future wife, who was diagnosed with Multiple-Sclerosis! Can you imagine a man loving you that much?! I can't even get a man who can deal with my incessant snoring and morning breath, let a long a debilitating disease! I had a nigga leave me because I burnt a piece of toast. "You burnt the toast, bitch I'm outta here".

Another lady finds her man in the grocery store, getting ORANGE JUICE!!! I am always getting Orange Juice!!! Ridiculous

If you are interested in seeing these proposals and hearing their stories go to www.essence.com That's where you will find all the bullshit.

I'm still shaking my head, something about seeing a man get down on his knees and ask a woman for her hand in marriage is very disconcerting to me. Quite, possibly I am so jaded by marriage and relationships, I can't even take the time not to smirk in amusement as these men share their undying love for these beautiful sistahs.

Even if I never have a proposal of my own (despite my mothers constant praying) I hope that I continue to see man stepping up to the plate and making the woman in their life, their partners for life!!!

Introducing, Foolishness...

We are starting the New Year off with more foolishness. I posted earlier this week, this young Korean man (but don't tell him that) singing some Mariah Carey song! Child, he started this day off with more of his foolishness.

He can't even remotely sing, and although I gave him props last post, I'm inclined to take it back. What is up with that spiderweb, see-through vest?! Someone call Prince, he's about to be swagger jacked.

So, without further ado, here is FOOLISHNESS...




Yelling Girl Side Note: His name is not foolishness, that's what I've dubbed him.

R.I.P Helen Suzman

Sometimes this world can be very negative, and one of the issues that perpetuate negativity and hate is the issue of race and color. Helen Suzman was an advocate against Apartheid, at a time when it wasn't acceptable for a non-black to be. She continued her fight against what she knew was wrong, when it wasn't popular.

She passed away at the age of 91.

My condolences to her family, and I hope they keep her legacy alive.

A lesson for Madoff?

Its too early in the morning for this bullshit! Associated Press is reporting that some thieves stole a statue of Bernie Madoff's, worth over $10,000.

This apparently happened on Dec. 22. The statue has since turned up at a country club of Madoff's with a letter attached reading "Bernie the Swindler, Lesson: Return stolen property to rightful owners. Signed by — The Educators."

Really?

What point is this proving?! Do you think this guy gives a shit about whatever after school lesson you are trying to teach?! Really, the man has swindled over 50 billion dollars from his investors!

Not that I am advocating violence by any stretch of the imagination, but something tells me the only thing this man might understand is a foot in the ass! Which he wont get cause he's going to a federal prison.

Watch Out For the Big Girls!!!!

I'm a big girl, yes, I'm a big girl! And what?! I don't want anyone saying anything to me about being a big girl, cause I look good! Okay, now I will take into consideration that I have a nice shape for a big girl, not that box back and all that some girls are cursed with; but still I'm big none the less. I love my big girls and will fight hard for them, but sometimes there is one in the bunch that makes me roll my eyes and say "sit your fat ass down"! This is one of those times.

Posted here you will find a clip of this girl named Scarlet, now I don't know if that is really her name cause it doesn't sound big. You know how big girls somehow have big names, almost like they are destined to be big? Well, Scarlet decides that she is gonna sing for us and in the middle of the damn song ( a song that I've never heard and one that I think is very impromptu cause at times even she looks confused at the words coming out of her mouth) and change her shoes.

Then she hops her big ass on this coffee table and....Just watch: (skip to about 2:15 in, cause it gets a bit long up front).





Did you see this?! Now granted the tape is called Scarlet takes a tumble, and I really thought I wasn't going to be surprised when she took the tumble, cause I was being prepped for it. But honey, when that fool fell! I'll tell you, I _______________________________ flat lined!

Here are the times I expected her to fall
1. When she put on her shoes, cause she was huffing and puffing and bent over awkwardly trying to put them on.
2. When she first got up on that coffee table, cause I heard the table say "Are you kidding?". That table creaked for dear life!
3. When she started that little booty grind, or whatever that was?

I was surprised that after the song was done and she had done all the things possible to bust her ass, she falls on the dismount!!!!

And the judges give her a 8.6!

Child, I have no words.

You have to watch the clip at least 5 times, cause the first 4 times you are laughing so hard you miss all the comedy gold at the end when she is on the floor in pain for about 3 mins.

This is my girl, fearless and shameless (cause she posted this shit!).

Big up, big girl!

P. Diddy = Shitty Time for Coach

Diddy said that the party don't stop. Well, apparently, it does for Cincinnati football coach Brian Kelly. When Kelly got wind that Diddy and his entourage were going to throw a party at a Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami, he elected to take his team to another hotel. Kelly, has got to be the only man in the world that ain't trying to sip Gin 'n Juice with Diddy. Seriously?! I mean, I know a few nuns that wouldn't mind getting invited to a Diddy party.

Apparently, Kelly (who is a professed man of the world), knows what its like to party with the likes of Beelzebub himself; he decided that this would lead to nothing less than catastrophe for the guys on his team.

I have mixed feelings about this. One the one hand you got the "Diddy factor", major star who will drop no expense making his party HOT TO DEF; who wouldn't want to be a part of this bash? Then you have the coach, he has a team to lead and is responsible for some guys who may not be responsbile enough to take care of themselves.

I think this could've all been avoided if the coach took a look at the guest list, cause knowing Diddy and his exclusive ass, those boys probably wouldn't have been on the guest list anyway.

Yelling Girl Side Note: Shout out to Diddy who is a Scorpio like me. I'm the 3rd of Nov. he's the 4th! Scorpios rule!

Woman Pops out Crumb-Snatcher on a Plane

In my best Samuel L. Jackson voice: Enough is enough, I have had it with these motherfucking babies on this motherfucking plane!!!

Alright, so the title of this post was unnecessary, but so is a pregnant woman getting her ass on a plane close to her due date!

A lady gives birth to a baby on her Trans Atlantic flight from the Netherlands. Now, I have a serious beef with this airline; you can't let fat people on the plane but a pregnant woman who is crowning gets a pass?!

Now a real quick side note, I have to apologize to my white girls cause I heard this story and assumed this lady was white. One because this flight was coming from the Netherlands (what are black people doing in the Netherlands) and also because white women (for whatever reason) are always the ones that find themselves giving birth on a busy freeway, lion infested safari, or in the middle of the Bermuda triangle. The only outrageous story I've heard about a black woman giving birth in some strange place is when this lady delivered in an elevator, and she was only in the elevator to go get her husband who was cheating on her.

Who I really feel sorry for are the passengers who had to experience this mess, I got a lot on my mind when I'm flying without the added stress of the lady in A11 needing an episiotomy mid-flight.

Thankfully, there were two physicians on the flight who aided in the delivery. Mom and baby are doing well.

Keeping with the themes of crazy black names, the mom has decided to name her Tranisha Atlantique Jones.