Pimping Yo' Baby!

Looking to make extra cash? Got a baby? Okay, well pimp them out. Want to know how?!

Just sign them up to be a baby model. In every major metropolis, on any given day this process takes place. There are parents who spend time and energy trying to get their child into modeling. Now, if you thought the career span of a dancer was limited, you have to see the career span of a baby model. They can only work newborn up to 3 1/2 years in the baby modeling world, before they become has beens.

So, just in case your baby looks like Flava Flav they have criteria for the little crumb snatcher. Here is what Joe Freeman of Dynasty Models is looking for: "It's almost like if you see something you know it," says Freeman. "For a baby, pretty much you're looking for that cuteness. I hate using the term, but that all-American look. That baby with a wholesome look."

I can not believe he just said "baby with a wholesome look"!!! Isn't that all babies?! Are there slutty babies out there?! Babies that look like they've been around the block? Kim Kardashina babies?! Or Courtney Love babies?! Babies selling crack on 145th and Lennox? Babies strapping time bombs to their back and hoping on America bound flights? Babies smoking Newports and selling their bodies for $10 and a crack rock? Babies back-up dancing in Beyonce videos. Babies telling McCain to kiss their ass? Babies having babies? Babies going to nightclubs looking for their future baby daddies? Babies stealing from convenient stores. Has anyone seen a shifty looking baby?

This statement baffles me, but amuses me at the same time.


If you are interested in baby modeling or want to read more of the article written by Vanessa E. Jones with Boston.com here is the link: http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/articles/2009/01/03/next_years_model?s_campaign=8315

Chris Angel's new Trick

Chris Angel is now "officially" dating Holly Madison of the Girls Next Door Fame.

So, if you are wondering what his new trick is - it's Holly Madison. She is best known for letting Hugh Hefner (aka Dust Balls) take a dip in her swamp thang! Now, not that Chris Angel looks any cleaner (cause he's known for his flock of groupies) I am certain that taking Hugh Hefners leftovers is a little beneath him.

But whatever, I loved the GND; my favorite being Bridgette ( I have no clue, she just seemed the realest). Despite, my lack luster affinity for Holly I really was rooting for her to get that ring from Hef - cause God knows she put in enough man hours on her knees to get it.

Another GND cast member, Kendra is slated to get married on Hef property to some football player (I think). I'm not even interested enough to Google the information to correct myself. Kendra I never really thought was in it for Hef, she could do with or without him.

Unfortunately, GND is over. :-( This makes me sad because between GND and Keeping up with the Kardashians, I was in over hyped hoe heaven?

I wish all the girls good lucky w/ their relationships, apparently you can turn a hoe into a housewife!

Where the F*^%K to they find these men?!

Essence has come out with its annual 'Will You Marry Me' bullshit. This is where .0023 % of those 30% of black women who will find a man, gets a marriage proposal of a life time.

As much as I want to hate on these women, hey they found their man, so congratulations! I just want to know where they found these guys?! The stories this year are very dramatic and makes me wonder why I can't keep a man for more than .24 seconds! One man decided to commit his life to his future wife, who was diagnosed with Multiple-Sclerosis! Can you imagine a man loving you that much?! I can't even get a man who can deal with my incessant snoring and morning breath, let a long a debilitating disease! I had a nigga leave me because I burnt a piece of toast. "You burnt the toast, bitch I'm outta here".

Another lady finds her man in the grocery store, getting ORANGE JUICE!!! I am always getting Orange Juice!!! Ridiculous

If you are interested in seeing these proposals and hearing their stories go to www.essence.com That's where you will find all the bullshit.

I'm still shaking my head, something about seeing a man get down on his knees and ask a woman for her hand in marriage is very disconcerting to me. Quite, possibly I am so jaded by marriage and relationships, I can't even take the time not to smirk in amusement as these men share their undying love for these beautiful sistahs.

Even if I never have a proposal of my own (despite my mothers constant praying) I hope that I continue to see man stepping up to the plate and making the woman in their life, their partners for life!!!

Introducing, Foolishness...

We are starting the New Year off with more foolishness. I posted earlier this week, this young Korean man (but don't tell him that) singing some Mariah Carey song! Child, he started this day off with more of his foolishness.

He can't even remotely sing, and although I gave him props last post, I'm inclined to take it back. What is up with that spiderweb, see-through vest?! Someone call Prince, he's about to be swagger jacked.

So, without further ado, here is FOOLISHNESS...




Yelling Girl Side Note: His name is not foolishness, that's what I've dubbed him.

R.I.P Helen Suzman

Sometimes this world can be very negative, and one of the issues that perpetuate negativity and hate is the issue of race and color. Helen Suzman was an advocate against Apartheid, at a time when it wasn't acceptable for a non-black to be. She continued her fight against what she knew was wrong, when it wasn't popular.

She passed away at the age of 91.

My condolences to her family, and I hope they keep her legacy alive.

A lesson for Madoff?

Its too early in the morning for this bullshit! Associated Press is reporting that some thieves stole a statue of Bernie Madoff's, worth over $10,000.

This apparently happened on Dec. 22. The statue has since turned up at a country club of Madoff's with a letter attached reading "Bernie the Swindler, Lesson: Return stolen property to rightful owners. Signed by — The Educators."

Really?

What point is this proving?! Do you think this guy gives a shit about whatever after school lesson you are trying to teach?! Really, the man has swindled over 50 billion dollars from his investors!

Not that I am advocating violence by any stretch of the imagination, but something tells me the only thing this man might understand is a foot in the ass! Which he wont get cause he's going to a federal prison.

Watch Out For the Big Girls!!!!

I'm a big girl, yes, I'm a big girl! And what?! I don't want anyone saying anything to me about being a big girl, cause I look good! Okay, now I will take into consideration that I have a nice shape for a big girl, not that box back and all that some girls are cursed with; but still I'm big none the less. I love my big girls and will fight hard for them, but sometimes there is one in the bunch that makes me roll my eyes and say "sit your fat ass down"! This is one of those times.

Posted here you will find a clip of this girl named Scarlet, now I don't know if that is really her name cause it doesn't sound big. You know how big girls somehow have big names, almost like they are destined to be big? Well, Scarlet decides that she is gonna sing for us and in the middle of the damn song ( a song that I've never heard and one that I think is very impromptu cause at times even she looks confused at the words coming out of her mouth) and change her shoes.

Then she hops her big ass on this coffee table and....Just watch: (skip to about 2:15 in, cause it gets a bit long up front).





Did you see this?! Now granted the tape is called Scarlet takes a tumble, and I really thought I wasn't going to be surprised when she took the tumble, cause I was being prepped for it. But honey, when that fool fell! I'll tell you, I _______________________________ flat lined!

Here are the times I expected her to fall
1. When she put on her shoes, cause she was huffing and puffing and bent over awkwardly trying to put them on.
2. When she first got up on that coffee table, cause I heard the table say "Are you kidding?". That table creaked for dear life!
3. When she started that little booty grind, or whatever that was?

I was surprised that after the song was done and she had done all the things possible to bust her ass, she falls on the dismount!!!!

And the judges give her a 8.6!

Child, I have no words.

You have to watch the clip at least 5 times, cause the first 4 times you are laughing so hard you miss all the comedy gold at the end when she is on the floor in pain for about 3 mins.

This is my girl, fearless and shameless (cause she posted this shit!).

Big up, big girl!