Monday, May 26, 2008

HOT-Wee (Hottie of the Week): Perv Pick!


Okay, so this might not always be a theme that I will do on Yelling Girl, but I just had to put up this little cutie that I think is so adorable (2 more years and he's legal, ladies). Skandar Keynes, is a British actor who I am familiar with as the character King Edmund in the Chronicles of Narnia films.

Keep a eye out for this kid, I think he's going to be really big one day!

I better rush and have a daughter, cause I'm totally going to try and get her to marry this kid!

"What You Talkin' 'Bout, Wilma?"


Just when I thought I had seen it all, I see some shit that makes me want to personally request that God wipe out this entire planet and just start all over again!

I see a woman (who was so pregnant that the baby was crowning) coming out of a bar! That's not the worse part! Cause she could or could not have been drinking inside the bar. But what this woman did next absolutely blew my mind. She lit a fucking C-I-G-A-R-E-T-T-E! Cigarettes cause cancer and lead to all types of health issues in the world on a daily basis. Not only that you have to be 18 here in the United States to even partake in smoking a cigarette. Second hand smoke is a leading killer of many people in this country. If it has this type of effects on adults and children, imagine what it does to an undeveloped fetus depending solely on its mother for nutritional substance. To make matters worse this woman was joined in this foolish escapade by her man and a friend.

I was floored, and it takes a lot to floor me. I mean, I have seen a homeless man take a shit right in front of me at the bus stop and ask me for toilet paper so he can wipe his ass. The first thing I thought of was making a citizens arrest. So, I get on the phone with the local police station to see if there is anyway they could intervene with this obvious declaration of parental neglect. I would would've gotten more attention from the police if I had told them that a kitten was stuck up a tree then telling them that I saw this pregnant woman coming out of a bar and lighting up a cigarette. The officer I spoke to was not moved to even fake a response of concern, opting to give me accolades for being a good citizen in knowing that what I saw was obviously wrong, but not before telling me there was absolutely nothing I could do but give the woman an ashtray as a baby gift.

The officer, however, was not that only person to dismiss my gripe as an unfortunate side affect of my overly sensitive sense of morales. Every freaking person I spoke to stated that it was "her right" to do as she pleased. These people (the bouncer, the patrons, the nonchalant police officer) all seemed to think this response in someway negated their responsiblity in this matter. Since when did a woman's "right" mean it was okay for her to infringe on the safety of others? In this case the fetus, her own flesh and blood!

Just recently in the news a couple was sentenced to jail time for allowing their 2 year old to smoke cigarettes and drink beer; I don't see any difference in this case. We have allowed this feminist shit to get out of hand, and I'm not okay with it! Somewhere along the line we dropped the responsibility ball in this country and for that people are running amuck. Just because "it isn't against the law" doesn't mean that is right. This is my plea, the next time you see a pregnant woman walking out of a bar and lighting up a cigarette smack it out of her hand and then slap her in the face and say "That's from your baby, bitch! Stop that!"

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Hillary: Sit your Ass Down!!!


Let me prference this by saying that I was absolutely in love w/ Hillary for years. One, because she is a Scorpio like me. Second, because she got to cuddle up every night w/, my husband in my head, Bill Clinton.

I respect everything that Hillary does and has done in the past, but for the first time I am asking her sit down. I know that look in her eye, its the same look I get when I'm trying to prove a point. We get it, Hil, we know you are awesome and fantastic. Hillary has done for the movement and liberation of women, since the bra burning incident of the feminist movement. But now its time to take a seat, be a real woman and accept defeat.

This is exactly why men hold claim that no woman should ever grace the seat of Commander and Chief, because we don't know how to let shit go.

Remember when you were a little girl and the bitch down the street decided to have her party on the same day of your birthday party? She was only having a regular party, she could have easily changed the date of her party, but no she just had to prove that she had more friends than you and keep the party going. Then all your friends had to make this awkward choice, do they come to your party or hers? They like you both, but only one can glory in that day. Even if they decide to split the time, none of the guest really give their full attention to you THE BIRTHDAY GIRL! Then at the end of the day you are reeling, because she fucked up your birthday w/ her stubbornness.

This is the same thing. Obama is having his birhtday party, but Hilary is throwing a slumber party. In the end, McCain will get the most gifts!

Hilary, take this for what it is. Sit down, run next time. Please, dont be responsible for the Democratic defeat, yet again!

Letter From The Editor: Wake the "F" Up, Chick!!!


To every big woman who has ever questioned her worth because of a man. (Skinny chicks you can get something out of this too.)

This chick has put up some shit thats got my blood boiling. To all the women around the world: If you dont start picking your fucking heads up and stomping around this motherfucker like you the shit. And I dont mean that bullshit that you say when you trying to front. We all know that its hard being a big girl, but its harder when we got these other low self-esteem, raggedy ass, emotionally abused motherfuckers stomping around here holding their gotdamn heads down!!!

If I have another dude think he is running this game because he has a dick, last time I checked a dick belonged in a pussy...so what is a dick w/ out a pussy, but a dick?!If we had brains enough to stop playing these damn games and stop letting a man use us like a piece of meet, or tell us that we aren't good enough for his attention or time then we'd have more control over this situation.I mean, even I have denied my own self the respect I deserve because I've allowed a motherfucker to think he was the green to my fucking pasture on the other side of the garden.

Here is a list of shit we need to stop doing:
  1. Stop looking for a man to complete you
  2. Stop looking to be a bride and focus on being a brilliant chick
  3. Stop looking for the perfect man, he doesn't exist. Mostly, because your ass ain't perfect so what do you need a perfect man for?
  4. Stop comparing yourself to other bitches and start comparing yourself to yourself last year. If you game is still on the same level either quit or get the users guide, look for the section that says "tips and hints" and take notes.
  5. Stop waiting for a man to take you out. You got a credit card bitch, fucking take yourself out and at the end of the night pay yourself back w/ the RABBIT.
  6. Stop going to these bars looking for Mr. Right, go in there looking for Mr. DJ and get your groove on
  7. Stop sulking when a man puts you down or says he isn't feeling you, just be glad that motherfucker was smart enough to move out the way so you Mr. Almost Perfect can come in.
  8. Stop waiting for a man to validate you
  9. Stop giving your pussy to a nigga who isnt giving you any affection, love or attention. Unless, you just want to fuck him then okay...but dont make it a habit.
  10. Stop praying for a man. Sometimes Jesus wants to hear us dote on Him. Remember, He loves us too so why dont we show Him attention. Don't make the Lord put you on Call Waiting, cause you still praying about the same shit you was praying about 10 years ago.
  11. Stop settling for any old thing because you got: kids, been married, over the hill, overweight, bald. You dont have to settle cause you are fine just the way you are.
  12. Stop recycling niggas. You pussy is not a recycle bin so stop trying to collect the glass deposit on a dick that is better off being biodegradable. I dont care how much of a dick shortage there is, there are enough dildos for every woman.
  13. Stop stalling your life and live
  14. Stop reading this and apply this. I had to put a 14 cause I didnt want to leave w/ just 13.
Bottom line, cause this rant was all over the place and unorganized. I dont want to come in here anymore and see some shit about men talking greasy about women and how they want this and want that, cause bottom line is women are beautiful no matter what and we all got a pussy that gets wet. You got a problem, shut off the fucking lights, pull down your pants, and feel for the pussy. You aint got to look at it to fuck it, but you do have to respect it for it to let you in.

Forgive me for this harsh tone, Lord - something just have to be said!

*Kisses*

Diamond N Da' Rough!











It rare that you will find a talented performer that can take on two of the industries greatest beasts, stand-up comedy and impersonation.

Stand-up takes timing and skill, something that many comics take years to hone. The same qualities are incorporated in impersonation; getting your subjects mannerisms and persona down to simplistic perfection. We (comics and impersonators) make it easy when we success, and very uncomfortably comical when we fail.

In my spotlight section, "Diamond N Da' Rough", I felt it was apropos to spotlight a talented young brother whose last name just happens to be Diamond!

Introducing....Lloyd Diamond

Lloyd Diamond as Sammy Davis

Lloyd Diamond as Sammy Davis

Lloyd Diamond as Ray Charles
For booking formation contact Mr. Diamonds management at: http://www.myspace.com/superbad2000