Psycho Academy

Okay, class is in session. I am professor Yelling Girl.

The lesson for today, creating fake online ID's.

Now we've all done it one time or another, either because we are too embarrassed to reveal who we are online or because we are stalking our ex-boyfriends. Now, the lesson for today will focus on the latter.

I will say off the bat, that I am guilty and currently committing this crime. There is something just very pleasing about keeping tabs on someone who you are no longer in a relationship with, especially if they broke up with you. Now, this situation is very distressing to the person you are duping into thinking you are someone else, but let's not focus on them right now - because lets face it, when they broke up with you they didn't give a rats ass about your feelings.

The issues is what are you doing it for? I mean, really?! What for? Eventually, you will have to let them in on the secret, especially when the awkward time comes to exchange pictures.

Here is why you do it:

• You have contact with them. In your sick twisted world any contact is good contact, even if it requires you to pretend you are not the person that they once were into but are no longer feeling. So, if your ex takes the bait all you've done is shown him that there is someone out there that makes him feel alive again - and its not you, unless you are pretending to be someone else.


• You proving to yourself that he was a jerk. Nice try, but not really. If you are no longer with him what makes you think he is not currently and actively trying to find someone else? And its the Internet, more than likely he is chatting with more people than your alter ego.


• You are going to scare him from flirting online. This one misses the mark too. All your fake ID creating does is make it necessary for him to require a picture upfront. And possibly, request that you talk over the phone immediately just so he knows its not you playing games.

Here is my story: I was so carried away and obsessed with an ex that i've stalked them over the Internet . Okay, not stalked like he put it in the court papers , but checked up on. At one point the thought of this person being with another person drove me crazy . Now flash forward 2 years later, I'm not really checking up on this person, but they accidentally run across one of my profiles that I created and never shut down. They actually initiate conversation with me, but at this point I dont really care. However, I found this situation where I am now talking to him because I dont want to hurt his feelings and tell him that i'm not interested , and doubly so because i dont want him to think i created this id just for him. Now, i'm in a situation where i'm lying to avoid hurting someone who hurt me. What kinda sick, twisted mess is this?

Save yourself a lot of hassle and do what this person has done to you; completely forget them.

If you feel that you can't move on, seek counseling. Go out and party. Lean on your girls, that's what you have them bitches for, when shit gets tight. Or better yet, put your 'Freak um' dress on and find another dude that will dump your ass in no time flat. Just leave this one alone.

Close those damn ID's and go on living your life as the fabulous woman you are!

IF YOU HAVE FAKE ID'S SHUT THEM DOWN!!!